Murdoch
Biomedical Science
soxy_gal@hotmail.com; jac_soxy@yahoo.com.sg
20031987
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Wednesday, May 31, 2006
i hurt my groin!! argh.. my freaking groin.. during dance last nite. all the kicking n stretching n jumping n wadeva involving my groin joint has gotten the better of me. eeks. was tinking of enduring thru the pain.. but ricky saw my prob n told me to stop. ssaaad... so i juz sat watching em complete the last dance in class.. which was the most challenging.. which made me wanna dance even more! HMPH!!
went over to lionel's place for the nite wif kenneth. kenneth slpt so early man... n he has 2 tests today! god bless him. hope he makes it thru. lion n i did our work till 3... n now i'm feeling so freaking slpy..... slpt at 4 the nite b4.. aaahh.. n i still neeta do my work tonight.. coz tmr's my turn for the interim assessment. n i haven do my model! come to tink of it.. i'm so much more hardworking n determined den last yr.
haiz.. dun feel like going for the musical... wanna go home slp... tired!!
went over to lionel's place for the nite wif kenneth. kenneth slpt so early man... n he has 2 tests today! god bless him. hope he makes it thru. lion n i did our work till 3... n now i'm feeling so freaking slpy..... slpt at 4 the nite b4.. aaahh.. n i still neeta do my work tonight.. coz tmr's my turn for the interim assessment. n i haven do my model! come to tink of it.. i'm so much more hardworking n determined den last yr.
haiz.. dun feel like going for the musical... wanna go home slp... tired!!
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
a short time out frm work. head's pounding a lil.. had been tinking alot abt how shld my spaces be, where to place them and how to arrange. tinking too much in a short time.. had been awhile since i used so much of my brain. ahh.. stop the pounding...
not sure on wad i shld write here actually.. juz needed to say sumthing n voice out my thots, which i'm not sure wad they are exactly. hmm.. *shrugs*
kinda glad tt i'm designing.. but as usual.. too lazy to work more on my concept. lects always say they r gd ideas n i shld work more on making em better, or research more. den i'll be back to slacking. boi am i lazy... cant find anithing tt i'm actually genuinely hardworking on.. except for dancing, which i find myself rather lazy too at times. overall.. i'm a lazy person. procrastination lives in me.
sooo happy to see glenn online yest. tho the chat was short, at least i knew wad he's up to now.. n i got his no. back! *huge grin* had lunch wif kenneth n lionel tis aftnoon. there were the usual teasing arnd. but its pleasantly irritating. haha.. reminded me of the time wen the 3 of us went sun-tanning at sentosa, n wen we hung out n had fun at the bbq, or wen we juz slacked at the mph. i begged for more sun-tanning outings.. kenneth's free.. but aparently i'm too busy. argh.. tis is wad happens wen u have too many committments.. frenship at stake. but! soo looking forward to the KL trip! there'll be lion kenneth rach liu jun n moi! woo hoo! *great wide smile*
body's aching all over.. frm my calfs, thighs, lower ab, upper ab, arms to inner arms. juz coz of the poly 50 training on sat. shows how lil i've been exercising. n i walked!! i've NEVER walked during runs! omg.. so disappointing. stamina gone down the train. =(
tmr is ricky's contemp class... oh gosh.. hope the aches wont disrupt my movements. cant wait for class!! neeta dance... wai yee's class was cancelled today, n i feel fat already! plus there wont be dancesport classes on thurs. ooh noo.. gonna gain loads thruout tis week. argh. hmm.. i'm getting obsessed wif tis weight thing. =
procrastinating again!! shld i go to slp? or shld i cont wif work? nooo nooo!! work. u neeta work! coz u'll be soo tiring tmr aft dance tt u wont find the energy to work.. so u neeta work today! at least till 3am. yep yep! WORK!
not sure on wad i shld write here actually.. juz needed to say sumthing n voice out my thots, which i'm not sure wad they are exactly. hmm.. *shrugs*
kinda glad tt i'm designing.. but as usual.. too lazy to work more on my concept. lects always say they r gd ideas n i shld work more on making em better, or research more. den i'll be back to slacking. boi am i lazy... cant find anithing tt i'm actually genuinely hardworking on.. except for dancing, which i find myself rather lazy too at times. overall.. i'm a lazy person. procrastination lives in me.
sooo happy to see glenn online yest. tho the chat was short, at least i knew wad he's up to now.. n i got his no. back! *huge grin* had lunch wif kenneth n lionel tis aftnoon. there were the usual teasing arnd. but its pleasantly irritating. haha.. reminded me of the time wen the 3 of us went sun-tanning at sentosa, n wen we hung out n had fun at the bbq, or wen we juz slacked at the mph. i begged for more sun-tanning outings.. kenneth's free.. but aparently i'm too busy. argh.. tis is wad happens wen u have too many committments.. frenship at stake. but! soo looking forward to the KL trip! there'll be lion kenneth rach liu jun n moi! woo hoo! *great wide smile*
body's aching all over.. frm my calfs, thighs, lower ab, upper ab, arms to inner arms. juz coz of the poly 50 training on sat. shows how lil i've been exercising. n i walked!! i've NEVER walked during runs! omg.. so disappointing. stamina gone down the train. =(
tmr is ricky's contemp class... oh gosh.. hope the aches wont disrupt my movements. cant wait for class!! neeta dance... wai yee's class was cancelled today, n i feel fat already! plus there wont be dancesport classes on thurs. ooh noo.. gonna gain loads thruout tis week. argh. hmm.. i'm getting obsessed wif tis weight thing. =
procrastinating again!! shld i go to slp? or shld i cont wif work? nooo nooo!! work. u neeta work! coz u'll be soo tiring tmr aft dance tt u wont find the energy to work.. so u neeta work today! at least till 3am. yep yep! WORK!
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
jealousy anger n insecurity running thru me... since yest nite... i noe i shldnt be feeling like tis.. its unreasonable.. too sensitive.. but i need anses! i need to noe.. my mind is full of qnses.. but i dont dare to ask! juz cant open my mouth... tts my prob... too sensitive n scared. hide my feelings too much! argh... wadeva i'm assuming.. dont want it to be true.. dont want it to happen.. help.. someone..
enuff of unhappy stuff. i've gotten permission.. n confirmation... for going to KL wif my dance peeps on 9, 10, 11 june... den.. 15, 16, 17, 18 june wif my classmates. WOO HOO~ so cool. well... the trip wif the dance ppl is not confirmed... coz.. lionel dont seem to want me to go!!! well.. ok fine.. tink i'm too sensitive.. but he kept saying, "dunno leh.. u wanna go meh? ur parents allow meh? coz i tink onli 5 ppl can go leh... coz i'll be driving.. onli can fit 5 ppl.. further more.. u'll be spending ALOT of money... u sure u wanna go?" aarrgghh.. i'm sure i wanna go.. u sure u wanna let me go?!
oh ANIWAY, melvin didnt come for rumba today!! last min cancelled. ARGH! made me skip my audition for the role of kay!! n.. they didnt bring my dance shoes down.. so lionel n i onli danced a lil.. like SUPER lil.. den we juz sat arnd.. argh. SO.. we left for dinner... den home. stupid. argh. aniway, taught jane how to pop n shimmy. was kinda embarrassed.. so we hid at a corner of the room n drew the curtains.. but lionel kept peeping in! stupid idiot. n even made a GRAND entrance by lifting the curtains up n walking in. so i told him to teach instead. BUT instead of teaching.. he shimmied straight into my face. like really close. stupid shit.. irritating bugger. funny idiot. haha.
oh another happy thing! i found a gems fren!! gems class was soo boring.. coz i didnt noe anione there. TILL!! i found someone who's frm the same sch as me! BE! yea.. BE rulez. his name is michael n he's frm civil structure. found him super familiar at first.. den he talked to me today n true enuff! frm BE! nv tot i'll find someone frm design to be in a business gems. wad a blessing. =D
oh! n i found out how i noe tis guy.. who knew lionel too coz of their buddhist association. found him SUPER familiar at first.. den i found out i was the one who talked to him during CCA week.. n he was the one who signed up for all 3 categories, contemp cheerleading n hip hop. yeap. my skills gd rite... wahahaha.
juz had some really sour mango. gd at taking ur mind away frm those emo stuff.. aniway. test tmr.. STUDY!
enuff of unhappy stuff. i've gotten permission.. n confirmation... for going to KL wif my dance peeps on 9, 10, 11 june... den.. 15, 16, 17, 18 june wif my classmates. WOO HOO~ so cool. well... the trip wif the dance ppl is not confirmed... coz.. lionel dont seem to want me to go!!! well.. ok fine.. tink i'm too sensitive.. but he kept saying, "dunno leh.. u wanna go meh? ur parents allow meh? coz i tink onli 5 ppl can go leh... coz i'll be driving.. onli can fit 5 ppl.. further more.. u'll be spending ALOT of money... u sure u wanna go?" aarrgghh.. i'm sure i wanna go.. u sure u wanna let me go?!
oh ANIWAY, melvin didnt come for rumba today!! last min cancelled. ARGH! made me skip my audition for the role of kay!! n.. they didnt bring my dance shoes down.. so lionel n i onli danced a lil.. like SUPER lil.. den we juz sat arnd.. argh. SO.. we left for dinner... den home. stupid. argh. aniway, taught jane how to pop n shimmy. was kinda embarrassed.. so we hid at a corner of the room n drew the curtains.. but lionel kept peeping in! stupid idiot. n even made a GRAND entrance by lifting the curtains up n walking in. so i told him to teach instead. BUT instead of teaching.. he shimmied straight into my face. like really close. stupid shit.. irritating bugger. funny idiot. haha.
oh another happy thing! i found a gems fren!! gems class was soo boring.. coz i didnt noe anione there. TILL!! i found someone who's frm the same sch as me! BE! yea.. BE rulez. his name is michael n he's frm civil structure. found him super familiar at first.. den he talked to me today n true enuff! frm BE! nv tot i'll find someone frm design to be in a business gems. wad a blessing. =D
oh! n i found out how i noe tis guy.. who knew lionel too coz of their buddhist association. found him SUPER familiar at first.. den i found out i was the one who talked to him during CCA week.. n he was the one who signed up for all 3 categories, contemp cheerleading n hip hop. yeap. my skills gd rite... wahahaha.
juz had some really sour mango. gd at taking ur mind away frm those emo stuff.. aniway. test tmr.. STUDY!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
body's aching all over but i'm loving it. proves tt i've been working hard n using the right muscles. yeap.. i've been dancing 4 days in a row... nice~! n tmr there's rumba aft the musical dance. melvin's coming down to teach us b4 heading to blackpool for comp... so nice of him rite.. but all tis dance trainings n sweating n muscle aches aint cutting down on my fats.. i still look the same... argh.. =(
but all tis aint tt gd aft all.. yea.. consequences... there's ALWAYS consequences.. been losing conc on studies. yep... dance always ends late... n i'll be dead tired... too tired to work on my proj. tis cant go on maaan.... still contemplating on whether to cut down on the musical... as in totally drop out frm it. but i'm too close to the peeps there.. they're such nice ppl! n i'm missing an opp to experience a major stage production. wif a weak story line~~ eekss!! okok.. DILEMMA!!
seriously neeta get away frm tis comp n go work on my proj outside in the living room. yea... cant wait for rumba tmr!!
but all tis aint tt gd aft all.. yea.. consequences... there's ALWAYS consequences.. been losing conc on studies. yep... dance always ends late... n i'll be dead tired... too tired to work on my proj. tis cant go on maaan.... still contemplating on whether to cut down on the musical... as in totally drop out frm it. but i'm too close to the peeps there.. they're such nice ppl! n i'm missing an opp to experience a major stage production. wif a weak story line~~ eekss!! okok.. DILEMMA!!
seriously neeta get away frm tis comp n go work on my proj outside in the living room. yea... cant wait for rumba tmr!!
Sunday, May 21, 2006
2am n i cant slp due to the meal i had at 12.30pm.. stomach still hurts. it hurt ever since i got home.. argh.
went to watch dick lee's man of letters at NUS UCC. its gd.. the singing was great. made my hair stand quite a few times. the change of scenes were smooth. enjoyed it so much more than westside story.. sad to say. wanted to watch the da vinci code wif dear, but tix were sold out. so were the other midnight shows. owells.
had been feeling rather troubled.. like a rock hanging on my heart.. wen i tink abt him or see him online. guess i'm quite sad abt how we're not as close animore aft he noes tt i have a bf? he stopped asking me out juz to walk or shop arnd orchard.. we stop crapping n making fun of each other on msn, or update on wads happening in our lifes... kinda miss it. n i'm toking abt 2 "him" here. =( one of them have been arguing wif me more than ever.. the other juz totally disappeared... n now tt i've lost all contacts on my fone.. i dont have his no... arrgh.
gotta get my life back on track. its in a huge mess now.
went to watch dick lee's man of letters at NUS UCC. its gd.. the singing was great. made my hair stand quite a few times. the change of scenes were smooth. enjoyed it so much more than westside story.. sad to say. wanted to watch the da vinci code wif dear, but tix were sold out. so were the other midnight shows. owells.
had been feeling rather troubled.. like a rock hanging on my heart.. wen i tink abt him or see him online. guess i'm quite sad abt how we're not as close animore aft he noes tt i have a bf? he stopped asking me out juz to walk or shop arnd orchard.. we stop crapping n making fun of each other on msn, or update on wads happening in our lifes... kinda miss it. n i'm toking abt 2 "him" here. =( one of them have been arguing wif me more than ever.. the other juz totally disappeared... n now tt i've lost all contacts on my fone.. i dont have his no... arrgh.
gotta get my life back on track. its in a huge mess now.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
so tired.. exhausted frm 2 dance classes, 2 days strght. den it'll be the musical training the nxt day. den dancesport on thurs. fri is most prob for me to rest for awhile b4 piano class. dying.. frm all the activities.. but cut down on which? dunno... the skin on my legs kept peeling... y wont it ever stop peeling? so much skin?! y cant i improve? forever being soooo lousy.
mood swing? dunno... i'm juz so bothered wif things going on me. confused over us.. i love him.. alot... tot i'm used to all tis "gal-watching" "gal-talks" etc... guess i'm not. its normal? isnt it? which gf wants his bf to keep looking at gals.. praising them.. describing their looks? jealous? mayb... irritated? extremely... den i'll be telling myself.. accept him for who he is.. so yep.. fake front again.. oh yea.. he tells me.. dont lie to him... dont put up a fake front.. so i'll be unhappy.. den he'll say i'm sensitive.. dont understand a thing abt him.. blah blah blah.
hey! guess wad? its all abt him. all abt tinking abt him... abt how he reacts.. how he is.. wad abt me? either.. unhappy but looks fine.. or unhappy n shows it.. n be even more unhappy wen we start arguing. oh yea.. i dont understand him. juz NUTS abt him. but i love him. love someone u dont understand? yea.. tts love.. FULL STOP.
i'm juz so overly sensitive. i admit. but i dont show it. emotions run thru me.. LOADS of it... but ppl onli see it as someone cheerful, bubbly, bright smiles, cold jokes, huge laughters, shamelessly "stupid" or silly. but guess wad? i'm a loner.. i like being wif myself... i tok to no one.. i'm a lunatic. i hate my heart... hate it for being so sensitive n observant. hate my eyes for being so aware of the surroundings. hate my brain for tinking so much. juz hate everything abt myself.
ARGH. PMS!! oh nooo.. nv blame it on sumthing.. always blame it on urself. i blame myself.
mood swing? dunno... i'm juz so bothered wif things going on me. confused over us.. i love him.. alot... tot i'm used to all tis "gal-watching" "gal-talks" etc... guess i'm not. its normal? isnt it? which gf wants his bf to keep looking at gals.. praising them.. describing their looks? jealous? mayb... irritated? extremely... den i'll be telling myself.. accept him for who he is.. so yep.. fake front again.. oh yea.. he tells me.. dont lie to him... dont put up a fake front.. so i'll be unhappy.. den he'll say i'm sensitive.. dont understand a thing abt him.. blah blah blah.
hey! guess wad? its all abt him. all abt tinking abt him... abt how he reacts.. how he is.. wad abt me? either.. unhappy but looks fine.. or unhappy n shows it.. n be even more unhappy wen we start arguing. oh yea.. i dont understand him. juz NUTS abt him. but i love him. love someone u dont understand? yea.. tts love.. FULL STOP.
i'm juz so overly sensitive. i admit. but i dont show it. emotions run thru me.. LOADS of it... but ppl onli see it as someone cheerful, bubbly, bright smiles, cold jokes, huge laughters, shamelessly "stupid" or silly. but guess wad? i'm a loner.. i like being wif myself... i tok to no one.. i'm a lunatic. i hate my heart... hate it for being so sensitive n observant. hate my eyes for being so aware of the surroundings. hate my brain for tinking so much. juz hate everything abt myself.
ARGH. PMS!! oh nooo.. nv blame it on sumthing.. always blame it on urself. i blame myself.
Friday, May 12, 2006
if onli i can dance better... always a step bhind the others... having tis GREAT wanting to improve.. look down on myself too much.. sad.
got into the 2nd round for the competition... but tt was it.. wasnt selected for the semi finals. quite disappointed.. my frens kept saying i was great.. better than those who got selected.. if i was better.. than y was i standing there chatting wif em? y am i not at the dance floor? ahh well.. later my instructor, who competed n got 1st in the highest cathegory said the judges weren't gd tt day.. n not getting into the semi doesnt mean u're bad. ahh wadeva. i'm still disappointed.
wanna dance... improve my posture.. be more flexible.. n most importantly slim down.
went ta watch poseidon wif dear yest... hmmm... not tt bad.. but not fantastic..
nutting to do today... the perf on sat is cancelled.. so no pract today.. so.. free.. hmm.. neeta find sumthing to do fast.. b4 i rot..
got into the 2nd round for the competition... but tt was it.. wasnt selected for the semi finals. quite disappointed.. my frens kept saying i was great.. better than those who got selected.. if i was better.. than y was i standing there chatting wif em? y am i not at the dance floor? ahh well.. later my instructor, who competed n got 1st in the highest cathegory said the judges weren't gd tt day.. n not getting into the semi doesnt mean u're bad. ahh wadeva. i'm still disappointed.
wanna dance... improve my posture.. be more flexible.. n most importantly slim down.
went ta watch poseidon wif dear yest... hmmm... not tt bad.. but not fantastic..
nutting to do today... the perf on sat is cancelled.. so no pract today.. so.. free.. hmm.. neeta find sumthing to do fast.. b4 i rot..
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
waiting for my cup noodle to be done.. damn hungry n tired. but i cant slp!! still neeta slog in the proj.. subm tis mon.. wanna finish by fri.
whole body's aching.. had wai yee's dance class for the musical training. had been sooo long since i had proper stretching.. joints n thighs aching like hell.. hope it'll go away b4 sat.. tt's wen dancesport competition is. straight aft musical was dance pract. arghh.. soo freaking tired.. plus the dance routine is sooo fast.. had to push my muscles to the max. can feel my joints coming apart.. aaahh.. heellp.
eyes can barely open... how to do my proj?! heeellp.
miss dear sooo much.. dunno y i do.. i juz miss him.. SO MUCH!
dancesport competition... 3 days time!! aaah..
whole body's aching.. had wai yee's dance class for the musical training. had been sooo long since i had proper stretching.. joints n thighs aching like hell.. hope it'll go away b4 sat.. tt's wen dancesport competition is. straight aft musical was dance pract. arghh.. soo freaking tired.. plus the dance routine is sooo fast.. had to push my muscles to the max. can feel my joints coming apart.. aaahh.. heellp.
eyes can barely open... how to do my proj?! heeellp.
miss dear sooo much.. dunno y i do.. i juz miss him.. SO MUCH!
dancesport competition... 3 days time!! aaah..