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Tuesday, December 27, 2005

hta subm is overr! its the holss.. well.. onli for a wk tho... n my wk's soo pack wif activities, guess it'll pass b4 i noe it. come to tink of it.. its already wed tmr! half the wk gone. owellss..

i'm soo happy today! met up wif my darl jiayi. =DDDD wen was the last time out wif her? during her bday. tt was a few mnths ago. miss her loads. sooo nice seeing her again.. n nice huggie!! hehe.. had loadsa catching up to do. if onli i had my cam wif me.. i'll definitely take soo many pics! talked to her abt my tots tis days.. haiz.. so far she's the onli 1 whom i can truly open up to.. aniway, we watched narnia. which i tot was an.. ok movie. quite nice.. gd graphics.. nice story line... but no "wow" factor. didnt make me tink abt it aft the movie like some shows did. 1 thing for sure is tt peter is sooo HANDSOME! haha.. real name william moseley. hehe.. so handsome. 18 yrs old. wooo hooo. anniiwaay.. aft the movie was home... tw msged me abt his probs.. n it got me tinking abt my own past.. which led to me dropping a few tears. argh. i hate myself for wad i did in the past. thnkfully my parents forgave n gave back their trust in me. but i still haven forgiven myself.. n nv will. let tis be a lifelong scar n lesson for me. *sigh*

meeting up wif jy always reminded me of my sec sch days... n yea... of my ex. someone i haven really forgotten. haiz... dunno y.. the tot of him makes me sigh.. seeing him on frenster makes me sigh... i'll be looking out for him whenever i'm at orchard, n wen i TOT i saw him, i'll stop n look properly, onli to noe its not him, den sigh in both relief n disappointment. relief coz i dun wanna see him, which will lead me to tinking of him for the nxt few days.. disappointment coz well.... i really wanna see him.. missing him soo much. or wen on msn, i'll be scrolling down my contacts in hope tt he'll be online, n wen he's not i'll sigh.. if he is (rarely), i'll be like "shld i tok to him??" den i'll end up NOT coz i'm too shy! haiz... y cant i juz get over him?! yyy.. =(

liking someone SUX! wether in a relationship or not.. it juz brings u thru this wild roller coaster ride of emotions.. IT SUX!

Sunday, December 25, 2005

MERRY XMAS!!!!!!!! n a HAPPY NEW YR!!! heee..

boi did i have a white xmas last nite.. yea.. white.. literally white. was out at orchard wif axel jin yi marcus n a bunch of marcus's frens. a total of 11? yea guess so... it was a big grp. was kinda awkward wen we met up wif the huge grp, so axel jinyi n i went to 7-11 to grab a pack of carlsberg. ARGH it was bad. really bad. too bitter! regretted not getting tiger. aniway, we went back to the bunch n bought snow spray cans. was extremely afraid initially.. but aft loadsa persuading n being called "chicken"; "boring", they managed to get me to the open n get sprayed at! i sprayed back of coz.. n got kinda addicted! hahaha... sprayed can aft can aft can. ran alot.. n got freaking wet. haha. it was fun. oh i saw ivonny wif her bf! haha.. sprayed them like hell. haha. so we went on to lido n started to slack. aft which, the 3 of us left marcus n his frens n headed to chinablack. a last min decision. yea, drank a lil n danced till 2am. first time out clubbin wif onli 2 frens. 2 guys in fact.. haha.. body guards? lolx. was sooo tired, dirty, smelly n sticky wen i got home. went to slp wif my hair wet (frm bath).. cldnt be bothered... too slpy.

sooo screwed.. tmr's is hta's subm n i haven even started reading the notes. eeks. i'm too much in a hols mood already! arrrggh.. gotta bring myself down to study. grrrrr

Sunday, December 18, 2005

had been a while since i've posted anithing here.. well coz last week was filled wif the hectic mad rush of submission. its finally over... but sch is always out to make us busy like hell.. there's E-learning week, which means doing ur work online. yea no sch.. but the work given is much worse than sch! haiz. -_-

there's of coz some enjoyment aft submission. we had to let our hair down man. yepz. so aft my torturous subm on fri, went home to catch loadsa slp n rushed back to sch for tis so called "slumber party".. sounds nice yea? but its actually for sec sch leavers.. we're invited juz to have fun. which i heard wasnt fun at all.. they were all bored to death. thnk god i woke up late n was there for onli 30 mins. cairu axel n i den went to union sq!! a salsa club. met up wif rachel freddy marcus n lionel. poor rach had to leave the club coz she's underage. bloody waiter... bloody idiotic moronic f**king waiter. he HAD to tell his in-charge tt he suspects we're underage. we were already sitted n waiting to chill man.. he HAD to spoil our mood. BLOODY HELL. so yea, rach left n freddy went chasing aft.. haha.. so its left wif marcus cairu axel lionel n i. it was fun man. esp dancing wif axel. taught marcus n lionel some steps.. n i actually created a new variation! cool eh?! hehehe.. kinda pitied marcus... coz he's frm dance n cheer, no ballroom dancing backgrnd.. so guess he felt a lil awkward? frm the looks of it.. yea he was. tried to dance wif him.. so i was alternating myself btwn the 3 guys. haha. i had fun aniway.. drank quite a few... felt a lil tipsy wen i got home. slammed to bed n slpt like hell.

had contemp dance performance on sat. it was ok i guess. no hats.. we had to improvise. owells. i dun tink it was bad. they gave us a 50bucks transportation fee. woo hoo~! so yep, we spent the money on dinner at secret recipe. NICE~!!! shared 3 slices of cake amgst freddy rach marcus lionel n i. felicia missed tis sinful treat man. it was great! my tummy was bursting frm the meal. n yea, all thnx to my SLOW metabolic rate... i still felt like puking at arnd 1am! we had the meal arnd 9+? gosh. had prob trying sleep tho i felt terribly tired. -_-

its my hse warming later! gosh.. hope it'll be ok. first time planning a party!!! *prays*

Monday, December 12, 2005

ok.. i've said tis like a zillion times but i'm still gonna say it again.
supposed to be doing my work! but juz soo bored wif staring at the lines n circles! if the lines are joined end to end, it'll prob go round the globe like a few 1000 times. okok.. i'm exaggerating. haha. wondering how much radiation my body has absorbed aft staring at the screen for hrs. argh.. the horror... wad if i mutate sum day?! the horror!!! =S

heard frm ivonny tt her hsemate went for a tattoo on her shoulder.. did a butterfly. i wan too!! she said it wasnt painful.. she even fell aslp. tt made me wanna have a tattoo even more! haha.. my parents are so gonna kill me if they find out abt the tattoo. gonna ask em b4 i actually does 1. hee.

arggh boorreed. but dun wanna cont wif class. haiz... GEMS test tmr!! calenders.. argggh.. boorrriinggg topic! =( bleah!!!!!!!!! ok i'm gone.

Friday, December 09, 2005

totally regret ordering Macs right at midnight. now i cant slp a wink n my stomach's bloated wif nuggets fries n coke. prob take another hr for digestion to set in... oh no, i have like the slowest metabolic rate in the whole universe.. guess slp can onli be enjoyed 2 hrs later... argh. i'm tired. i wanna slp.

SD's gonna have a new clubhouse! YAY!!! no more sharing wif LOM... BYEBYE LOM! HELLO new clubhse! woo hoo. ooh n it's juz nxt to dance n cheer... gr8 news for me.. bad news for cairu. haiz. owells.
i still tink francise hates me... call me sensitive or judgemental... i still tink he does. so much for doing my bez as a pres. cant he be more appreciative? *shrug*

tw's off to NS tmr morning. no more asking him out for a meal... hey wait, we onli had a meal 2gether since i moved. plus the few failed attempts of him asking me out n vice versa. n to tink we onli live a few "lorongs" away? n where's the "hey lets go play pool someday"? haha.. owells.. wish him gd luck in the commando camp. =P

gosh i'm falling aslp.. wif a bloated stomach? noooooo.. gotta stay awake no matter wad... ok work work work!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

class was cancelled tis morning... finished bathing b4 recieving the sms... so much for waking up on time... aniway, had breakfast wif my parents. it was a nice feeling, felt so blessed.. wen was the last time we had breakfast together? i can hardly recall. absence makes the heart grow fonder.. i've learnt to treasure them more. aft which, pa n i ordered some supplements online from america.. he said its gd, n yea for the first time i agree wif him on tis supplements... n since its herbal... i tot of ordering some slimming pills. my parents were ok wif it.. hope it helps. *shrug*

an amazing no. of 40+ frens are coming to my hse warming. i'm pleasantly surprised. expected to be rejected by a handful.. but wow.. most of them are coming! was discussing wif ma tis morning.. n i started to worry tt they'll be bored.. cant tink of ani activity to keep them occupied!! shld i buy some cards n boardgames? shld i try getting a mahjong table? glenn told me not to worry.. well.. i'll try.. its my first time holding a party at my place.. soo nervous. =S

tis feeling coming frm an unknown source is eating into my gut. y am i feelin tis way? do i really have feelings for him? dun wanna acknowlege it.. dun wanna fall in love! hate the emotional rides i have to go thru. had been caging my heart, whoever comes near n i'll move away. but its diff wif him! i like his company.. i dun mind being near him.. n if he does come near, i juz hope time freezes. had been forcing myself to move away frm him.. n yea, sumtimes i try too hard.. n my actions tend to be too hurtful. sorry....

going to the national lib to do my work... had been long since i've endulged the silence. totally love the feeling... it kinda take me away frm my probs. silence is golden. =)

Saturday, December 03, 2005

i have no idea wads wrong wif me tis days... aft the nice chat wif axel yest thruout the whole journey of sch, airport n home... my mood's been really down. the chat was nice, the aft effect of it is not. i dun show it of coz... hate sharing my burden wif frens... had been tinking of 3 particular ones... 2 i've been tinking n pondering over all the while.. but the other, the 3rd, is someone i've nv anticipated to actually be able to get me all mentally occupied wif. argh. tis is bad. n having tis moody days make me miss glenn so much. i dunno y.. being wif him juz makes me forget abt tis unnecessary tots. no i dun love him, i dun have a crush on him, i juz enjoy his company... sumthing abt him gives me comfort... mayb coz we've known each other like forever *shrug* ok, he better not read tis or it'll be soooo awkward.. eeks. but i dun tink he reads my blog animore.. arrrgh! to hell wif it. juz wanna spill my tots all over tis blog.. vomit it out, creating a mess.. as long as it makes sense to me...

i miss my parents.. really do. tho we live under the same roof, we barely communicate! had a really nice time decorating the xmas tree wif ma last nite, pa was slping n boi did i miss him, if onli he was awake... n kor was home.. so tt we can decorate the tree as a family, juz like the old times. my parents had been so busy they reach home freaking late, i'm aslp den.. n i'll be out of home for sch early b4 they wake up... n kor's at his sch's hostel.. gosh.. i'm finally crying... been longing to let out the tears... for the first time, it feels gd to cry.. aniway, i miss my family. cant imagine how torturing it wld be to study overseas... be strong sy!!

it sucks to be moody. pms?? no wad... menses juz over.. dunno...

Friday, December 02, 2005

darn exhausted frm social dance today... feets still hurting due to wearing heidi's heals, which are higher n thinner than mine(short n stubby). aniway, juz wanna jot down wad happened today before i slam into bed...

had the stupid lc meeting test in the morning.. like a total waste of time. yes... den it was the presentation/discussion at arnd 2, which got quite boring in the end.. n i almost died frm the extreme headache. it started yest.. came back today. it was terrible. migraine.. argh.. stupid.. comes yearly... hate it like hell... almost fainted once all thnx to tis yearly occurence. aniway, aint gonna let it bring me down. it was sd!! yea~! somehow i like the ppl there... they're more... well.. worry-free? i dunno... they juz make me happier. francise taught couple rock n roll.. was really fun dancing wif elijah n some others. kinda dread teaching the newbies.. but like i said, newbies! cant neglect them.. tts cruel.

aft dance, axel elijah n i wanted to go home INITIALLY. but axel tot of sending heidi off at the airport.. so i accompanied him. i wanted to send her too.. n see how ben looks like aniway. hee.. so the 2 of us headed down to the airport, which was freaking cold! had swensens' earthquake for the first time.. nutting fantastic tho... ice-cream is always enjoying aniway. saw ben... n i feel so happy for heidi. he's such a gentle giant! kinda like the guy of my dreams.. well.. every gal's dream.. yea.. lucky heidi. had a nice chat wif axel thruout the whole journey to n fro the airport. didnt leak much of my tightly kept secret.... but still felt better having someone to share tis burden kept in me for 4 yrs. yes, sok yee, jacelyn... the seemingly cheerful, bubbly, jumpy, weird gal... has a HUGE secret.. a secret so bad tt there is no one i trust enuff to talk to. thnx to wad happened less than 4 yrs ago. axel shld have a slight idea of wad i'm toking abt. kept him hanging on a threat of curiousity.. hehe.. he's prob still trying to find out wad happened to me. hehe. =P

slpy.. n headache's coming back. haiz....

where r u? missing everything abt u...