Murdoch
Biomedical Science
soxy_gal@hotmail.com; jac_soxy@yahoo.com.sg
20031987
Pisces
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
May 2011
December 2011
April 2012
May 2013
i hate tis.. i hate my life
i hate how ugly and fat i am
i hate wad kinda loser i am
i hate everything now.
browing thru facebook makes me depressed
happy cny everyone.
neeta deal w another heartbreak for the sake of wad i want..
there's juz too much to deal w now, there had been too much for the past yr
i wan him here by my side so much
i wanna fly back to perth n hold him tight
fucking hate how stupid i feel
fucking hate seeing "bachelor of biomedical science"
fucking hate signing up for units i fucking hate
fucking hate checking sch fees for "bachelor of biomedical science"
fucking hate thinking abt it
fucking hate ppl asking abt it
fucking hate explaining abt it
fucking hate trying again n again
fucking hate myself
fucking hate feeling helpless
fucking hate knowing i'm losing hope
fucking hate no matter how hard i wrk for it, how gd my grades are, how many experience i get, i cant FUCKING GET WAD I WANT.
i wanna do sumthing.. anithing.. drink, smoke, pee, shit, slp... get it out of my mind, out of my system. ani temporary relieve..
"do anithing u wanna do wif it" i told him.
it turned out pretty gd.
best pic i cld take to send to sean. had to squeeze tt smile out."it looks ok, ur eyes dun look swollen" was wad he said.. i was asking abt my hair.. -_-
another will do nutting to me
nutting's gonna stop me
graveyard is a killer.. 3 or 4 shots plus guinness stout. disgusting.
first smoke of the night. followed by another 3 puffs.. i tink.
head spinned like crazy.
head still spinning.
fun. =)
bikram yoga is not any easy soothing slpy yoga i've done. its in a room heated to 40 degrees. n i've done yoga classes at tis temperature b4, but tis 1 was different. it was much more tough. like 3 times tougher.
its so tough tt even kenneth stopped halfway in class on the 1st day. we felt nauseous and dizzy. it zapped every ounce of energy available. i cld barely walk strght aft we finished. i've nv sweat so much in my life. we were dripping not onli from our forehead but from every existing sweat pore; legs arms stomach ass, every where. our clothes were drenched man. running for 6km didnt even give such an effect. sweat coming out are not lil beady ones dotting the edge of the skin mind you, they literally flow and drip.
whole body's aching soo bad. another class tmr.
we watched a performance by a sg dance company, T.H.E dance company. n they were gud, i loved it. makes me wanna go back to dancing again, n stretch those rotting limbs hanging off me. which reminds me of yoga tmr.. WOO HOO!!! MAY I DIE!! anyway, T.H.E is kenneth's dream company to join, i'm sure he'll make it in. he's an awesome dancer. =)
aft the show, i rushed home to dump the shopping bags n went to dbl O to look for Q, lionel and leon. omg... i was sooo deprived of alcohol tt once i was there, i down like 4 or 5 cups of drinks. it felt gd being back in the club mmaaann. happyyyy!
some super blurry pics...
no pics of lionel coz he was somewhere w his gf. den like aft onli an hr wen i was there, Q had to go coz his dad kept ringing him from the hotel. dammit. but owell... better than nutting. i had fun, q was drunk, leon cldnt open his eyes, lionel was scary. like wtf man, lionel kept insisting to drive q home but q kept rejecting him. i thot lionel was gonna smack him. it was v scary n ppl arnd were looking. O_O but q took the cab w me in the end n lionel was obviously v v v pissed. gosh.
was watching the victoria secrets fashion show today on tv. n OMG the models were all so gorgeous. soooo.. i am gonna go on a diet. i'm not trying to be like them, i nv CAN, but i felt sooo fat watching them. yes, me needs to slim down. kenneth n i aim to lose 5 kg... i dunno y he wanna lose the weight he's so fucking skinny, but yes, i shall lose 5kg.
night.
i cannot imagine losing someone i love.
she's so strong its amazing. =)
_________________________________________________
meeting up w desmond today was gd, awesome catching up. we watched "yes man" and it was sooo funny! show was gd.. meaningful too. didnt get popcorn or nachos despite the cravings coz i cant help tinking abt how fat i'll get. hahahaaaa.. now tt i injured my toe n tt i cant go for a gd long run, all i can do are crunches at home... n i hate it, coz i dun sweat enuff! i really wanna sweat it out. its driving me crazy how i cant even squeeze my foot into those running shoes.
speaking of toe. i kicked my foot against the table at home.. again! it freaking hurts man. now the nail's a few more mm away frm the flesh, n it moves wenever i touch it.. grosses the hell out of me. i shld really see the doc soon.. but the high possibility of her ripping the whole nail out of my toe freaks me out soooo much. =(
i miss sean! the thot of not being w him during xmas and new yr makes me so upset.
chatting w him everyday is not enuff. i wanna see him. sobs.
while i stay home most of the time
i feel like i have no frens
i wanna go back perth...
so i dun hafta give a damn abt who i muz catch up wif.