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Sunday, September 30, 2007

its sux to stop dancing. my muscles were twitching while listening to the songs on the way home... n i was desp to let it all out! oh n i feel so inflexible.. can barely do a split animore... its pathetically at a small angle... shld really push myself to do more stretching everyday. can barely rem the last time i stretched those muscles!

yet again.. i'm feeling lonely. zzzz.. shall try asking my olld ollllld frens out... like glenn n desmond... esp glenn man! the last time i saw him was at his chalet.. march!! ooh mmyy... i juz realised how long it's been!!! missing those long late night walks wif him along sg river... those heart to heart chats.. or juz silently enjoying each other's company... he's those kind who i can be 100% comfortable wif, even in silence. =( miss him.
oh n pei ru n jiayi... mayb i'll go out for supper wif gd ole supper mate tian wen... the crappy idiot who cld make me stop crying just by driving..
had been tinking of tis for days... i shld take action! hurhur~
oh n jiaying... thot we were supposed to go shopping gal?!
i miss my sec sch freeeennnnsss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but first.. i need some energy... slp dun seem to be enuff.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

like honestly.. i'm ugly rite? like uggglllyyy... was walking arnd orchard today n i cld not spot anione uglier or fatter than me. seriously! everyone's so skinny n pretty. i was in my usual skirt n tee wif kenneth as he was searching furiously for his outfit. last min shopping, his best cup of tea. aniway, while waiting for him outside the fitting room, i was looking at my reflection in the mirror located OH-SO-conveniently in front of me... my eyes onli stayed for a sec n then wandered off to the gals standing arnd me, who were waiting for their guys too.. there was one in shorts, damn nice legs! another in a dress, damn gd bod! etc... n den my reflection zoomed in... damn fat thighs, fat tummy, fat face.. fat fat fat! FFAATT! ugly. i went dizzy...

aniway, i always feel gd having tis 2 fellows arnd me.. kenneth n lionel. i mean they're such a joy to be wif! one's always so nonchalant in a pleasant way, the other's juz crappy. cldnt rem the last time the 3 of us met up. n wen we did, we were all in matching black tops! hurhur..
wen will be the nxt meeting? haiz...

i shld really stop getting jealous.. it's ruining me...

Thursday, September 27, 2007

its 2.30am n i cant slp! wide awake n stoning at the comp... n to tink i hafta get to wrk by 8. wanna get another mc.. i'm like reaaallly sick. no joke. feels like my ears r stuffed... =(

i'm burnt.. my face is peeling like crazzzy. but i aint regretting going to tan wif kenneth b4 the dive trip. wahhaa. coz now my skin is in a nice dark bronze shade.. lovely! n plus, we did loadsa catching up... he did most of toking actually.. even more complains than ever. but i missed him! still do actually. he looks so much better wif his head shaved. much cooler.. esp wif a cap on.

feeling kinda guilty wishing lionel 1 day late. his bday was supposedly on tues. but i was the receptionist plus i had to wrk aft hrs. so all the wrk kinda took my mind off it.. SORRY LIONEL! been long since i saw him too... been long since i saw anione!!! except jackie whom i went diving wif..

ok slp

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

i'm feeling looooneeeellly!! sick, bloated, slpy n menstruating. above them all.. LONELY! was sitting in the living room of tis damn empty hse reminiscing juz abt everything and anithing. terrible feeling.

y does so many ppl look like her?! tt nurse at the clinic, my tour leader at taiwan, my dance senior.. there's juz tis annoying resemblance of her. hate it. well.. at least wen i really DO see her, i'll prob thot its juz my sub-conscience mind resembling some stranger. at least it'll refrain me frm slapping her. oh y am i so evil? =)

damn i miss chris. no gd.

Monday, September 24, 2007

i've discovered a whole new world from diving. its B-E-utiful! been long since i've felt so much exhilaration. its like my life is finally coloured. was pretty upsetting at first coz fear n nervousness got the better of me. overcomed it nevertheless! satisfaction babaye!

there's always a price to pay of coz. i came back wif multiple cuts on my hands, a bruise n a slight flu. sttuupppiidd lil fish attacked my bleeding finger underwater. wad crap..

aniway, i'm now a qualified open water diver!! woooo hoooo... n jackie is actually already planning for the nxt advanced open water diver... wld love to join but doubt the secretary will approve my leave. we shall see...

shall post the pics once i've gotten them... =)

n now to the doc... to get a mc coz i didnt go to wrk today! wahaha. i'm really sick aniway. =P

Sunday, September 16, 2007

so totally useless at consoling.. or advising... not for chris's probs tt is. he's been feeling so down for sooo many days! n i'm getting affected by it... hate being so helpless n its not within my field of knowledge to help. not like i have much knowledge. aaaaaahh... n asking so many qnses onli made things worse. not like he needs my help.. i'm like the last person he'll confide to.. juz dun wanna see him like tt...

zheng long n i planned to watch evan almighty tmr out of impulse. well.. coz both of us wanna watch it... n i dun tink chris wld wanna watch animore frm wad i see.. sooo.. we were sooo glad both of us had a similar goal! but now its kinda worrying me coz its the v v v v first time we're gonna go out together... no longer wif the grp.. hmmm... still pending tho.. he has yet to return my msg..

i hate attracting the wrong man at my wrk place. first was tt MARRIED philippino.. marriedd!! n den tt old man... apparently i was introduced to him by my boss! yuck yuck yucccckkk... he bought us lunch once n my boss insisted in getting me to fetch them frm him. amelia got to him first in the end.. wahahaaaa! aniway, i was running towards them n frm far my boss was pointing at me, n tt CHIKOPEK kept smiling... yeeeeee.. of alll nurses y meee?! can he like intro someone younger n more handsome? oh n richer pls... okok lower the criteria.. not need handsome.. presentable will do. =P

oh did i mention i passed my diving theory test too? soooo nxt stop.. the real dive trip at tioman! woo hoo! cant wait!!!!!! shld really organise such activities to fill up boring wrking days.. =)

Saturday, September 15, 2007

i've been consuming norethisterone for onli 2 days n i can already notice the side effects..

Abdominal pain or cramping; diarrhea; dizziness; fatigue; mild headache; mood changes; nausea; nervousness; swelling of face, ankles, or feet; unusual tiredness or weakness; vomiting; weight gain

juz had diarrhea tis morning... had been having cramps for 2 days... had been exceptionally tired.. my mood swings were crazzzzyyy.. oh man... hope my bod will adjust to the hormonal changes soon! its getting pretty uncomfortable. as for weight gain.. i juz hope tt wont happen...

watched no reservations wif lion n vir. nutting special.. slight sweet moments of love but was spoiled by the childish squeals of "delight" from god-knows-how-old gal behind us... -_-" overall... not worth the money... dl it or get the vcd illegally n watch it at home..

haaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiii... i hate my mooooddss!!


Tuesday, September 11, 2007

winning 4 passes to robyn's showcase at velvet underground on nxt tues was totally unexpecting.. have yet to decide if its a gd thing or not... i've already changed tis wk's aft hrs wif SL... n now i hafta change nxt tues's too! will they tink of me as someone who onli find reasons to escape from wrk? oh noooo!

to a lighter note.. a MUCH LIGHTER NOTE! i passed my FTT! yipppeee... i thot i wld fail, coz i failed 3 out of the 4 trial tests. apparently the actual was so much easier. =)

tmr's diving's theory session plus a test. n i barely read the book they gave.. damn. owells.
speaking of diving, i went to the doc for pills to delay my menses, coz it falls arnd the date of the actual dive at tioman. how unfortunate... zzz.. hope it wont mess up my bodily functions.. doc said there wont be ani side effects.. she better be right! =P

had been long since i went to run... all tis activities r slowly sucking away my energy... but tis is wad i call life.. doing wad u love doing. =)

Saturday, September 08, 2007

back from the pool pract for diving.. exhuasted n full!! coz we literally stuffed our stomachs aft the session. was a nice experience tho a lil painful n uncomfortable. my excitement for diving have turned slightly into fear.. will i be able to perform the procedures in open water? i hope sooo!!
as for now.. i shall conc on mon's driving FTT.. i'm onli half way thru the book!!! =(

cant believe i cried last night.. wasnt sure if it was out of anger or disappointment or.. well.. heartache.. it juz wasnt a gd feeling. aft trying so hard, tts all he cld tink of me... i've given up. there's nutting i can do aft all. like someone (forgot who) said b4.. i treat ppl who treats me bad exceptionally well... is tt true? wadeva... like wad i've been telling myself for the pass few days... its too late. didnt wanna believe in it.. was sure tt there was a way.. guess i'll juz hafta except the fact, tt it is too late.

haiz.. back to depression mode.. better get my mind occupied wif sumthing else.. back to studying for FTT..

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

i can never be a teacher.. i have a temper as bad as an active volcano when it comes to teaching.. n my parents wants me to be a piano teacher? purrrlleease.. i'll prob murder my students.

whenever i see vera standing around not knowing wad to do.. recollection of how i felt wen i was new to the place flooded my mind.. so i had tis HUGE urge to teach n show her how things are done.. so i did.. n ALWAYS regret doing so. its like both sides of me surfacing at the same time!

HATE IT wenever she interrupts me, claiming that she knows wad to do, n the nxt moment i'll realise she's doing it wrongly. n wenever tt happens.. i'll get sooo pissed that i'll show my temper. n i noe its not nice coz she's new.. so i'll suppress the anger/irritation.. but it juz doesnt wrk! every inch of facial muscle will tense.. n even wen she smiles at me.. all i can do is look away, wif jaws locked. n part of me is screaming at myself for being so unfrenly!

AND! well.. she's from indonesia.. so it juz makes things worse wen i dun understand wad she is trying to convey, or vice versa.

actually.. i realised wadeva she does pisses me off.. OMMGGG!! I HATE TIS! n trying to suppress my anger all the time is so tiring... BUT i have to teach her coz she's new n the others dun really like teaching her too.. n i pity her for tt..

help... y am i so evil...

Sunday, September 02, 2007

yest was a wild wild night. finally contented my urge to go clubbing. didnt expect smoove to move to the main arena... first surprise of the day! was still crowded nevertheless... packed like sardines. but neither tt nor exhaustion from wrk stopped me from enjoying.. nothing can! wahahaha.

i love the new rule of no smoking in clubs!! no more stinky cigarette stench stucked to my hair for days, which den will pass on to my pillow.. yikes. nice odorless night.. ah... =)

need more of it!!