Murdoch
Biomedical Science
soxy_gal@hotmail.com; jac_soxy@yahoo.com.sg
20031987
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Thursday, July 26, 2007
i can feel the stress level strangling me... its so overwhelming tt i will sometimes pause wadeva i was doing n stare into space, letting my mind stop n rest.. enjoying a few seconds of emptiness.. i've nv felt tis much stress b4... not even during my archi days...
a senior corrected my mistake in front of dr tan n the most senior nurse... n they all started scolding me... in front of the transport man... the embarrassment hit me so hard i felt slightly dizzy..
the rest of the days were mistakes mistakes n more mistakes...
den i came home.. hoping to rest... BUT i had to argue wif chris over a smmaaalll misunderstanding abt the conv we had yest.. wadeva for? to see who wins? to satisfy our ego?
i hate saying tis... but sumtimes i do wish to have my ex to talk to... at least he knew me well enuff.. at least talking to him makes me happier... but u'll hafta kill me to tok to him now... oh how contradicting...
its juz the beginning... n i'll hafta face for as long as i wrk there...
gotta face it..
at least i'm learning..
i've been enduring all my life.. tis is juz another phase...
a senior corrected my mistake in front of dr tan n the most senior nurse... n they all started scolding me... in front of the transport man... the embarrassment hit me so hard i felt slightly dizzy..
the rest of the days were mistakes mistakes n more mistakes...
den i came home.. hoping to rest... BUT i had to argue wif chris over a smmaaalll misunderstanding abt the conv we had yest.. wadeva for? to see who wins? to satisfy our ego?
i hate saying tis... but sumtimes i do wish to have my ex to talk to... at least he knew me well enuff.. at least talking to him makes me happier... but u'll hafta kill me to tok to him now... oh how contradicting...
its juz the beginning... n i'll hafta face for as long as i wrk there...
gotta face it..
at least i'm learning..
i've been enduring all my life.. tis is juz another phase...
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
altho exhausted.. i'm happeeeee... coz chris n i juz planned to come over to my place to bake together some day.. key wrd "planned"... might not happen... but well.. at least he initiated it! had been long since he initiated anithing. i've been the bolder one.. which is well... weird! so not me. happpieeee! always wanted someone to bake wif me... it'll be fun!! =)
stayed over at JT last night for after hours... was as usual exhausted today.. did some silly mistakes.. had been the receptionist for 3 days in a row... perfect for the past 2 days except today!!! the cashier was missing 2 bucks. grrrrrrrrr... insufficient slp causes careless mistakes.
i miss running! wanna go jogging some day.. not at the gym tho.. but at some nearby track. but first is to get a new pair of shoes... shows how long i've not been exercising man... dun even have a proper pair of shoes!
shall slp arnd 10 today... brain's shutting off...
stayed over at JT last night for after hours... was as usual exhausted today.. did some silly mistakes.. had been the receptionist for 3 days in a row... perfect for the past 2 days except today!!! the cashier was missing 2 bucks. grrrrrrrrr... insufficient slp causes careless mistakes.
i miss running! wanna go jogging some day.. not at the gym tho.. but at some nearby track. but first is to get a new pair of shoes... shows how long i've not been exercising man... dun even have a proper pair of shoes!
shall slp arnd 10 today... brain's shutting off...
Sunday, July 22, 2007
the wrath of pms...
hate those thots swarming thru my head
hate those emotions swelling my heart
hate those tears welling up in my eyes.......
but i dun really have much probs now.. do i?
life is so.. arranged... planned... routine-based... so......... thotless...
my mind's going into slping mode, is tt gd?
n y am i even worried of tis? isnt it better? less thots... less worries...
feeling fat n ugly..
kinda miss the times wen i was so obsessed wif my weight.. at least it wrked
at least i felt satisfaction...
great... its getting to me again... pms...
life dont suck... we made life suck...
wrk on it ppl.. wrk on it..
hate those thots swarming thru my head
hate those emotions swelling my heart
hate those tears welling up in my eyes.......
but i dun really have much probs now.. do i?
life is so.. arranged... planned... routine-based... so......... thotless...
my mind's going into slping mode, is tt gd?
n y am i even worried of tis? isnt it better? less thots... less worries...
feeling fat n ugly..
kinda miss the times wen i was so obsessed wif my weight.. at least it wrked
at least i felt satisfaction...
great... its getting to me again... pms...
life dont suck... we made life suck...
wrk on it ppl.. wrk on it..
Friday, July 20, 2007
passed my basic theory test! weell.. it was kinda expecting coz i breezed thru it.. so freaking easy... spent my time checking the anses.. gave up trying to stay a lil longer n left the classroom early. nxt is the final test.. read thru half the book n well.. i'm sooo gonna die! mainly confused wif some stuff stated... owell...
so i went home n slacked b4 heading down to parkmall to meet my ex colleagues at the archi firm for lunch. my ex boss's nephew was there.. quite handsome.. abc.. but younger than me. haa.
went back home n slpt, aft which headed to orchard to meet my darling peiru, whose birthday is.. omg.. NOW! paid the dress she wanted to buy... as a bday gift. coz i didnt have the time to get a proper one. she was pretty happy abt it tho.. =)
was wearing my new pair of heels today. n yeap.. as expected was pretty painful. but well.. i have tis weird habit of torturing my leg no matter how painful it gets.. coz the longer i wear the more comfy it'll be! rite? pr tinks i'm crazy... i simply tink i have a high tolerance for pain.
some pretty unpleasant pics of my feet.. freaking fugly.. dun tink its THAT bad.. but those who cant take even the slightest flesh distortion images do avoid. not tt i care.. who am i gonna wry abt turning off aniway? 'cept chris.. but well he's seen my feet b4.. wahahaa...
so i went home n slacked b4 heading down to parkmall to meet my ex colleagues at the archi firm for lunch. my ex boss's nephew was there.. quite handsome.. abc.. but younger than me. haa.
went back home n slpt, aft which headed to orchard to meet my darling peiru, whose birthday is.. omg.. NOW! paid the dress she wanted to buy... as a bday gift. coz i didnt have the time to get a proper one. she was pretty happy abt it tho.. =)
was wearing my new pair of heels today. n yeap.. as expected was pretty painful. but well.. i have tis weird habit of torturing my leg no matter how painful it gets.. coz the longer i wear the more comfy it'll be! rite? pr tinks i'm crazy... i simply tink i have a high tolerance for pain.
some pretty unpleasant pics of my feet.. freaking fugly.. dun tink its THAT bad.. but those who cant take even the slightest flesh distortion images do avoid. not tt i care.. who am i gonna wry abt turning off aniway? 'cept chris.. but well he's seen my feet b4.. wahahaa...
looks slightly swollen dun u tink?
my pinky toe IS swollen.. looks worse in real life
see tt cut n the crumpled up skin? 
my pinky toe IS swollen.. looks worse in real life
see tt cut n the crumpled up skin? 
pics r too blur.. owells.. feels like i'm adverting some feet disease.. hahaha.. some pleasant ones.. of baboon.. tt cute lil cat at my wrk place..
was pulling n rubbing his tummy while he's licking his paw.. hahaha..
getting cosy wif my feet.. hehe... =)
getting cosy wif my feet.. hehe... =)
makes me wanna own a cat man! he's juz SIMPLY ADORABLE!
parents will be heading to genting today... bro's prob gonna go over to his gf's place.. all alone for me on sat n sun.. freeedoooommmm.. hope i can wake up on time for wrk man..
parents will be heading to genting today... bro's prob gonna go over to his gf's place.. all alone for me on sat n sun.. freeedoooommmm.. hope i can wake up on time for wrk man..
Thursday, July 19, 2007
staying over the night at wrk last night was exhausting.. i had to wake up at intervals of 2, 5, 8, 9am to check on the hospitalised animals n monitor the glu level in a diabetic terrier. thnk god there werent ani emergency cases or i'll most prob drop dead.
was pretty difficult for me to fall aslp, totally new environment i guess. mind was swarmed wif thots... so i called chris, but onli for 5, 10mins? helped to lighten my mood a lil tho.. =)
pretty much loving how life is now. except for the oh-so-exhausting wrk life which is kinda sucking away my social life. BUT... there's juz tis source of energy tt keeps me going, so its not sucha bad thing? still hungry.. oh so hungry.. to learn more... despite the amnt of scolding, blaming, sarcasm, stress, expectation.. loaded on me.. i dun seem to mind. weird!!
harry potter wasnt as gd as i thot it'll turn out to be. but he sure is getting more charming... hermione is reaaally pretty man. i really envy tis ppl...
thot tw will stop asking me out wen he got his gf now.. seems like i'm wrong. pretty much grateful having him arnd... =)
wrking till 9pm tmr. basic theory test on fri morn. wish myself gd luck.
was pretty difficult for me to fall aslp, totally new environment i guess. mind was swarmed wif thots... so i called chris, but onli for 5, 10mins? helped to lighten my mood a lil tho.. =)
pretty much loving how life is now. except for the oh-so-exhausting wrk life which is kinda sucking away my social life. BUT... there's juz tis source of energy tt keeps me going, so its not sucha bad thing? still hungry.. oh so hungry.. to learn more... despite the amnt of scolding, blaming, sarcasm, stress, expectation.. loaded on me.. i dun seem to mind. weird!!
harry potter wasnt as gd as i thot it'll turn out to be. but he sure is getting more charming... hermione is reaaally pretty man. i really envy tis ppl...
thot tw will stop asking me out wen he got his gf now.. seems like i'm wrong. pretty much grateful having him arnd... =)
wrking till 9pm tmr. basic theory test on fri morn. wish myself gd luck.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
juz came back from watching transformers wif chris.. NIICE!!
OPTIMUS PRIME!! WHEEE WWEET! cool cool cool... =)
had a slight knee ache aft the show.. ah well.. i always do.. old knee injury. shrugs.
bought a new pair of heels frm charles n keith. i like~
also bought ne-yo's album.. RnB.. yup.. i love~
which reminds me... there's some hip hop battle wif RnB in the main arena at MOS tis thurs.. N ALSO! NEXT THURS! whosgoing's 1st anni at MOS.. wif RnB hits in the main arena too! argh.. who can i go wif? everyone's wrking now. onli me have sucha weirdo off day on fri.. =(
wrk tmr will be absolutely stressing. so far.. i'm learning much more things than i'm supposed to within 2 mnths, injections/drips/surgery... n now.. they're gonna put me totally in charge of reception for the whole day, as well as night.. tts wen u'll meet the most ridiculous/stupid/irritating/unreasonable/etc kinda clients.
PLUS! aft hrs... tts where the most stress is.. coz aft hrs r mostly emergency cases coming in the middle of the night.. n THATS wen i will meet cases i am not familiar wif.. WHICH will make me lost.. n its NOT GOOD to be lost in emergency cases. argh. stress..
pearlyn had been wrking for abt 4 mnths? n today's her first aft hr.. i onli wrked for 1 mnth +!! omg.. wonder how she's doing.. wonder how i'll do tmr!! *prays*
harry potter's up nxt on wed wif calista. yippee.. =)
wonder y i'm not feeling drowsy aft having the meds.. hmmm..
OPTIMUS PRIME!! WHEEE WWEET! cool cool cool... =)
had a slight knee ache aft the show.. ah well.. i always do.. old knee injury. shrugs.
bought a new pair of heels frm charles n keith. i like~
also bought ne-yo's album.. RnB.. yup.. i love~
which reminds me... there's some hip hop battle wif RnB in the main arena at MOS tis thurs.. N ALSO! NEXT THURS! whosgoing's 1st anni at MOS.. wif RnB hits in the main arena too! argh.. who can i go wif? everyone's wrking now. onli me have sucha weirdo off day on fri.. =(
wrk tmr will be absolutely stressing. so far.. i'm learning much more things than i'm supposed to within 2 mnths, injections/drips/surgery... n now.. they're gonna put me totally in charge of reception for the whole day, as well as night.. tts wen u'll meet the most ridiculous/stupid/irritating/unreasonable/etc kinda clients.
PLUS! aft hrs... tts where the most stress is.. coz aft hrs r mostly emergency cases coming in the middle of the night.. n THATS wen i will meet cases i am not familiar wif.. WHICH will make me lost.. n its NOT GOOD to be lost in emergency cases. argh. stress..
pearlyn had been wrking for abt 4 mnths? n today's her first aft hr.. i onli wrked for 1 mnth +!! omg.. wonder how she's doing.. wonder how i'll do tmr!! *prays*
harry potter's up nxt on wed wif calista. yippee.. =)
wonder y i'm not feeling drowsy aft having the meds.. hmmm..
Saturday, July 14, 2007
my nose bled again.. for the 2nd time.. last night at 2am. freaked out again.. not by the blood n all.. but wif the fact tt it bled 2 times within 2 weeks. am i really heaty? or is there something wrong wif my bod? didnt go to wrk today.. doc gave me 2 days mc.. so yep, not wrking tmr too.
felt like crap today aft having the meds. damn drowsy... went for high tea at oriental hotel (was it?) n shopping at marina sq wif my parents n aunts. felt like i was floating arnd.. worse was... coz it's a 5 star hotel.. n tt u neeta be prim n proper there.. i had to force myself to look fine, n smile at all who smiled at us. n every single one of them there smiles at u.. argh. i swear if i had a chance to be grumpy.. i wld be grumpy..
bought a straw bag at marina. had been wanting to get sumthing lidat.. hmmm.. not the nicest or the best.. but i'm still satisfied. tried to get a new pair of heels.. but to no avail..
life is oh-so-carefree now.. nutting to wry abt, nutting to be sad abt.. other than wrk stress, i'm greatful for how it is now.. lets juz hope no one comes and spoil it all. =)
felt like crap today aft having the meds. damn drowsy... went for high tea at oriental hotel (was it?) n shopping at marina sq wif my parents n aunts. felt like i was floating arnd.. worse was... coz it's a 5 star hotel.. n tt u neeta be prim n proper there.. i had to force myself to look fine, n smile at all who smiled at us. n every single one of them there smiles at u.. argh. i swear if i had a chance to be grumpy.. i wld be grumpy..
bought a straw bag at marina. had been wanting to get sumthing lidat.. hmmm.. not the nicest or the best.. but i'm still satisfied. tried to get a new pair of heels.. but to no avail..
life is oh-so-carefree now.. nutting to wry abt, nutting to be sad abt.. other than wrk stress, i'm greatful for how it is now.. lets juz hope no one comes and spoil it all. =)
yuuu huuu! met chris on thurs aft wrk. i didnt peel as bad as i thot i will.. n.. i didnt feel as sick as i thot i'll feel. hahahahaha.
met up wif the dancesport peeps for dinner. laughed like crazy man. had been long since i had a stomach cramp from all the laughing. maaann.. make me wanna go back to dancesport for lessons. but i cant coz i wrk till 9pm every thurs!! aargh. =(
some visuals! b4 i go to slp.. wrking again tmr.
met up wif the dancesport peeps for dinner. laughed like crazy man. had been long since i had a stomach cramp from all the laughing. maaann.. make me wanna go back to dancesport for lessons. but i cant coz i wrk till 9pm every thurs!! aargh. =(
some visuals! b4 i go to slp.. wrking again tmr.
heihei at my work place! cuteee!
baboon!! my fave cat there.. damn affectionate!
baboon lying wif me.. hehe. =)
from lionel's phone. funny laaa! was from sp's fc 1.. used to be, "please return your crockery and cutlery" hahahaha!
new song added... corrine bailey's put your records on. makes me feel so light and happy. =)
baboon!! my fave cat there.. damn affectionate!
baboon lying wif me.. hehe. =)
from lionel's phone. funny laaa! was from sp's fc 1.. used to be, "please return your crockery and cutlery" hahahaha!
new song added... corrine bailey's put your records on. makes me feel so light and happy. =)
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Life/god juz LOVES playing arnd wif me... y?!! y?!!!!
i'll be meeting chris tis thurs night.. might go club wif our frens.. butttt.... my face is peeling due to sunburn n i've fallen sick! damn it maaan.. shld i meet him in tis state? or shld i juz wait till nxt thurs? grrrrrrrrrrrr.... pffftt..
aniway.. i'm trying me v bez to get myself feeling well again.. had 1 vit c tab tis aftnoon, n juz gulp down 2 panadols, plus! record broken! i drank 2 bottles of water! hahaha.
sun was crazy man... met up wif 3 diff grp of ppl! ok first was wrk till 12, den piano till 2.30. aft which was lunch wif jackie, den yoga wif ivonny. den i went to meet the dance n cheer ppl at bugis for dinner.. slacked, walked arnd, had ben n jerry's at raffles city (YYUUMM!!). den met buv bun joanna n another gal at vivo. hur hur~!!!
meeting buv n the gang had ALWAYS been a JOY!! as usual... horny stuff.. sex n all.. damn funny man! they planned to open a karmasutra yoga class, instructor buv. OR... buv will be a pornstar comedian. bun will be going off to aussie tmr.. sad man.. i'm gonna miss her.. tho she'll be there for onli a yr n half. haha.
guess i wont be meeting chris on thurs. he juz said to scrap the whole thing n told me to rest. oweeelllss..
i wanna improve at wrk!!!
i'll be meeting chris tis thurs night.. might go club wif our frens.. butttt.... my face is peeling due to sunburn n i've fallen sick! damn it maaan.. shld i meet him in tis state? or shld i juz wait till nxt thurs? grrrrrrrrrrrr.... pffftt..
aniway.. i'm trying me v bez to get myself feeling well again.. had 1 vit c tab tis aftnoon, n juz gulp down 2 panadols, plus! record broken! i drank 2 bottles of water! hahaha.
sun was crazy man... met up wif 3 diff grp of ppl! ok first was wrk till 12, den piano till 2.30. aft which was lunch wif jackie, den yoga wif ivonny. den i went to meet the dance n cheer ppl at bugis for dinner.. slacked, walked arnd, had ben n jerry's at raffles city (YYUUMM!!). den met buv bun joanna n another gal at vivo. hur hur~!!!
meeting buv n the gang had ALWAYS been a JOY!! as usual... horny stuff.. sex n all.. damn funny man! they planned to open a karmasutra yoga class, instructor buv. OR... buv will be a pornstar comedian. bun will be going off to aussie tmr.. sad man.. i'm gonna miss her.. tho she'll be there for onli a yr n half. haha.
guess i wont be meeting chris on thurs. he juz said to scrap the whole thing n told me to rest. oweeelllss..
i wanna improve at wrk!!!
Thursday, July 05, 2007
i'm going crazzyyyyy!!!!!! almost to the pt of desperation..
its been more than a month since i saw chris... n i'm starting to miss him like crazy.
onli a few mins ago on msn... he did mention he was tinking of me n all... so i admitted tt i've been tinking of him too.. den we chatted.. n chatted.. n i waited.. n waited.. n waited LIKE CRAZY for him to ask me out.. but he didnt!!!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! someone put me out of tis misery!!
mayb i shld juz initiate.. mayb i shld be braver.. but i cant.. *sobs*
luckily he's not my bf man.. at least i'm saved frm all those emotions..
pls ask me out.. plsss.. *prays* boi am i desperate.. hur hur...
met jiaying today. aft sooo long! shopped at bugis n bought the same top wif her! i've been wasting so much money man! ok time to save save save.
its been more than a month since i saw chris... n i'm starting to miss him like crazy.
onli a few mins ago on msn... he did mention he was tinking of me n all... so i admitted tt i've been tinking of him too.. den we chatted.. n chatted.. n i waited.. n waited.. n waited LIKE CRAZY for him to ask me out.. but he didnt!!!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! someone put me out of tis misery!!
mayb i shld juz initiate.. mayb i shld be braver.. but i cant.. *sobs*
luckily he's not my bf man.. at least i'm saved frm all those emotions..
pls ask me out.. plsss.. *prays* boi am i desperate.. hur hur...
met jiaying today. aft sooo long! shopped at bugis n bought the same top wif her! i've been wasting so much money man! ok time to save save save.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
i shld really kurb my emotions wenever i see someone cry over their dead pet... or look extremely sad looking at their pet sick.. tis old couple visited their long lost pet dog today, onli to see how thin n sickly he was. i have tis reaaallly soft spot for old ppl u see.. n the look they had on their face... how sad they looked.. omg, my heart ached like crazy. n they came to give permission for us to put the dog to slp.. omg.. wen they finally found him.. he had to be put down.
i wanted to cry man... finally did on the way home on the bus. cried so hard.. argh.. i muz learn to face such things man..
den wen i reached paya lebar, my nose started bleeding man. like crazily. like flowing! i was soo shocked man.. had to stare at my hands for a few secs to register tt my nose was bleeding. my whole hand was red man.. n the toilet was soo freaking far! tink the weather's affecting my health.. too heaty already. further more UTI's back.. argh.
i miss chris....... LIKE CRAZILY! coz there's tis guy, terry gomez, who does pet transportation to our vet, reminds me of him. n i see him everyday.. n it stirs me to tink of chris.. everyday! its driving me crazy. i wanna wrk peacefully!!!
so tired~
i wanted to cry man... finally did on the way home on the bus. cried so hard.. argh.. i muz learn to face such things man..
den wen i reached paya lebar, my nose started bleeding man. like crazily. like flowing! i was soo shocked man.. had to stare at my hands for a few secs to register tt my nose was bleeding. my whole hand was red man.. n the toilet was soo freaking far! tink the weather's affecting my health.. too heaty already. further more UTI's back.. argh.
i miss chris....... LIKE CRAZILY! coz there's tis guy, terry gomez, who does pet transportation to our vet, reminds me of him. n i see him everyday.. n it stirs me to tink of chris.. everyday! its driving me crazy. i wanna wrk peacefully!!!
so tired~
Sunday, July 01, 2007
omg i cried watching tis. avril lavinge's "when you're gone". esp the old man's part. cld feel his pain man. argh.. heartache... bad heartache.. been awhile since i felt tis way.. n so strongly. prob is.. heartache for whom? no one actually.. ok now i feel silly...