Murdoch
Biomedical Science
soxy_gal@hotmail.com; jac_soxy@yahoo.com.sg
20031987
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Sunday, January 27, 2008
"So you cling to the one you think you might lose"
Painfully true. as much as i try to change that fact, i'll fall back to the same pattern over and over again. like its embedded in my mind. prob change the phrase to ,"So you cling to the one you KNOW you WILL lose" the irony of it all.
i'll get all emotional wenever i reach home, no matter wad i do outside. n its somehow getting on my nerves. i wanna explode n cry in wadeva emotions i hold captive within. but if crying can settle it all, i prob cry for the rest of my life and sulk away. like how ma always say, "if all u do is cry, u're spoiling urself". n how pa repeats, "god only help those who help themselves".
my gal frens made a plan, which i have yet to decide wether or not to go along wif it. study really hard, get a really gd (payable) job, get a super cool car, before finding for a man to spend ur life wif. and no kids!! told my mom and she was obviously agnst it. she was pushing me to get a bf during my uni days. hur hur~! reverse psychology wrks. now i dont hafta hide whoever "my-bf-to-be" is animore.
yest was a farewell dinner organised by dr tan at coca. den to zouk for sheena's bday which was absolutely utterly uber awkward. and FINALLY mos. overload of mats... all those posers..
heard tt grandma's not doing gd. i'm still praying...
saw how pa sat by her bed at sgh to chat or massage her for the whole day.
Painfully true. as much as i try to change that fact, i'll fall back to the same pattern over and over again. like its embedded in my mind. prob change the phrase to ,"So you cling to the one you KNOW you WILL lose" the irony of it all.
i'll get all emotional wenever i reach home, no matter wad i do outside. n its somehow getting on my nerves. i wanna explode n cry in wadeva emotions i hold captive within. but if crying can settle it all, i prob cry for the rest of my life and sulk away. like how ma always say, "if all u do is cry, u're spoiling urself". n how pa repeats, "god only help those who help themselves".
my gal frens made a plan, which i have yet to decide wether or not to go along wif it. study really hard, get a really gd (payable) job, get a super cool car, before finding for a man to spend ur life wif. and no kids!! told my mom and she was obviously agnst it. she was pushing me to get a bf during my uni days. hur hur~! reverse psychology wrks. now i dont hafta hide whoever "my-bf-to-be" is animore.
yest was a farewell dinner organised by dr tan at coca. den to zouk for sheena's bday which was absolutely utterly uber awkward. and FINALLY mos. overload of mats... all those posers..
heard tt grandma's not doing gd. i'm still praying...
saw how pa sat by her bed at sgh to chat or massage her for the whole day.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
wad am i holding onto?
y am i hoping, knowing tt chances r slim?
i prayed to be stronger
n i know i will be....
like how i overcame those stages of life before
this is nothing compared to the obstacles place ahead of me in the future
and i will work my way through it
y am i hoping, knowing tt chances r slim?
i prayed to be stronger
n i know i will be....
like how i overcame those stages of life before
this is nothing compared to the obstacles place ahead of me in the future
and i will work my way through it
Friday, January 25, 2008
i neeta work
i neeta get my mind occupied
these thots are making me go crazy
emotionally wrecked everyday
i'm going crazy
i neeta free my mind
i don't wanna cry
this desperateness is making me do things i don't wanna do
i've already done so many against my own rules
i wanna get away
i neeta get my mind occupied
these thots are making me go crazy
emotionally wrecked everyday
i'm going crazy
i neeta free my mind
i don't wanna cry
this desperateness is making me do things i don't wanna do
i've already done so many against my own rules
i wanna get away
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
no i'm not in love. and NO ITS NOT ABT MY EX BF! pfft.. pls la... tt was 1 yr ago.
feel so unappreciated and love-less. so bored of life...
had to move my flight to a later date due to my visa. dun have enuff time for it to process. haiz.
was reading the msn chat history and it brought back so much memories.
i'm soooooo bored. someone entertain me pls.
feel so unappreciated and love-less. so bored of life...
had to move my flight to a later date due to my visa. dun have enuff time for it to process. haiz.
was reading the msn chat history and it brought back so much memories.
i'm soooooo bored. someone entertain me pls.
i wanna take you
down to my little haven
where all is silent and still
and hold u till the rising dawn
when nothing else matters
but you and your heavenly touch
down to my little haven
where all is silent and still
and hold u till the rising dawn
when nothing else matters
but you and your heavenly touch
she said she cld tell tt i really like him and that its not worth it. is it really that obvious? well of coz its not worth it. totally aware of tt. so no worries babe... studying is my first priority and nutting will change tt fact.
OPTION 1
OPTION 2 (replacing the blond strips wif pink)
remembered looking at tis pic of a jap actress and how i totally fell in love wif her hairstyle. so i spent hrs figuring the website's add and where the pic was located. i was amazed by my own memory!
OPTION 1
OPTION 2 (replacing the blond strips wif pink)
solid bright pink or sutle pink strips? isnt she oh-so pretty? love the first pic. =)
Monday, January 21, 2008
counting down to the day i'll be leaving. did not think much abt it till today. realised how little time i have left here, and that i have the least hope on the person i wanna spend my time wif most... and that disappointment grows day aft day.
i thot being away will make things less painful. little did i suspect that the absence only increases my urges. a crescendo of need. *sigh*
its only my first day jobless and i'm emo-ing. wad will happen to the nxt 2 wks?
i thot being away will make things less painful. little did i suspect that the absence only increases my urges. a crescendo of need. *sigh*
its only my first day jobless and i'm emo-ing. wad will happen to the nxt 2 wks?
Sunday, January 20, 2008
last day of wrk . a mixture of relief and sadness. went to play wif daisy, tis local dog i've been looking aft ever since i started wrk. she prob cld tell i was leaving, coz she kept clinging onto my leg, including slobby licks on my face, plus a whole lot of whimpering. almost cried wen i locked her back into the kennel. prob wont see her again coz wendy has plans of putting her to slp. wanted to take some pics of her, but left my fone at home!!!! zzz...
i was given 2 gifts.. a postcard of 4 naked men's back from dr sim and a box of condoms from robyn. hahahaha! showed peiru the postcard and she said their asses r quite sexy. LOLX!!
i love the pink box!! (of condoms) 
i was given 2 gifts.. a postcard of 4 naked men's back from dr sim and a box of condoms from robyn. hahahaha! showed peiru the postcard and she said their asses r quite sexy. LOLX!!
i love the pink box!! (of condoms) 
they said my quirky character gave them an idea of wad to buy for me. like huh?!! o_O
back to my exercise regime.. which i gave up a few mnths ago..
back to my exercise regime.. which i gave up a few mnths ago..
Friday, January 18, 2008
my gal friends said i'm one of the prettiest chinese gals they know... i'm curvy and tts a gd thing... and the problem wif sg guys is that they only look for the typical scrawny small cute gals, who looks crappy and unhealthy. they're aft all... my gal friends.. ppl who's there to make me feel better. coz i seriously feel ugly, unattractive... grossly disfigured...
our chats confirmed 1 thing... we have decided to just play arnd wif men... NSA, FWB, FATA.. wadeva.. coz its juz not worth being faithful animore. bun was cheated, i was cheated, buv.. umpteen times.. i know a handful of ppl who were cheated. i know ppl who cheated their gfs/bfs, even future fiancee! call us bitchy.. but being exposed to these situations changed my mindset of that 1-and-only significant other, that there will be more than 1 aft all. like wad buv said, "men cant keep their dicks to themselves". this world is in need of serious help.
our chats confirmed 1 thing... we have decided to just play arnd wif men... NSA, FWB, FATA.. wadeva.. coz its juz not worth being faithful animore. bun was cheated, i was cheated, buv.. umpteen times.. i know a handful of ppl who were cheated. i know ppl who cheated their gfs/bfs, even future fiancee! call us bitchy.. but being exposed to these situations changed my mindset of that 1-and-only significant other, that there will be more than 1 aft all. like wad buv said, "men cant keep their dicks to themselves". this world is in need of serious help.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
If I had no more time
No more time left to be here
Would you cherish what we had?
Was it everything that you were looking for?
If I couldn’t feel your touch
And no longer were you with me
I’d be wishing you were here
To be everything that I’d be looking for
I don’t wanna forget the present is a gift
And I don’t wanna take for granted the time you may have here with me
‘Cause Lord only knows another day is not really guaranteed
So every time you hold me
Hold me like this is the last time
Kiss me like you’ll never see me again
Every time you touch me
Touch me like this is the last time
Promise that you’ll love me
Love me like you’ll never see me again
Monday, January 14, 2008
mood is bad bad bad... super bad. throwing tantrums all over the place and i dun give a damn. i'm tired pissed bothered... dun wanna entertain anione... piss off!!
bloody hell 2 bloody china men sitting in front of me kept smiling at me in the bus. bloody hell...
it was onli a short walk 2 bus stops down and i was whistled and called out for 3 BLOODY TIMES! like hello?~! cant they tell the difference?! i was in a plain tee, holding a big bag, listening to the radio wif no make up on!! was pretty sure my hair was in a mess... so which part of me depicts prostitute?! FUCKERS. GET UR FREAKING INFESTED ASS BACK TO UR COUNTRY!
so drained..
bloody hell 2 bloody china men sitting in front of me kept smiling at me in the bus. bloody hell...
it was onli a short walk 2 bus stops down and i was whistled and called out for 3 BLOODY TIMES! like hello?~! cant they tell the difference?! i was in a plain tee, holding a big bag, listening to the radio wif no make up on!! was pretty sure my hair was in a mess... so which part of me depicts prostitute?! FUCKERS. GET UR FREAKING INFESTED ASS BACK TO UR COUNTRY!
so drained..
Monday, January 07, 2008
as i looked up while walking home... i accidentally saw a neighbour naked, covering his privates wif a small pillow, desperately reaching for the curtains to draw! hahahahaha! cldnt stop smiling man.. damn farnie scene! =P
thnx mama for the 2 prezzies!
Dior perfumes and a burberry wallet. =)
alrighty... i'll be ending wrk on 19 jan... and leaving on 9 feb. fang bu xia ta.. damn.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Friday, January 04, 2008
WAN LAN EEHH!!!! i have yet to decide wether to be happy or angry or frustrated. i rushed down to IDP on wed to hand up my bank draft for the college in brisbane, felt so relieved tt at least sumthing is settled.... AND DEN! came home tis morning to find out i'm accepted to murdoch uni for bachelor of science!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF?! so now i hafta rush thru everything again! bank draft, air flights, accomodation... EVERYTHING! WAAAH LAAAOO.. wad if i cant get a flight there?! wad if i dun get an accomodation?! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh...
shyts man.
shyts man.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
sentosa beach countdown was filled wif drunk ang mohs and crazy bollywood dancing banglas who had no sense of movement wadsoever. utter disgust. well.. at least i had a little fun. was too sane and worried abt wrk the nxt day to enjoy honestly... tried to shake it off.. dance it away.. but WORK kept appearing in my mind. AAH! so i left early wif ivo at 3am and went strght to JT to slp. wrked wif full make up still on. hur hur... madness.
HAPPY NEW YEAR DARLINGS!
n to my parents in china whom i didnt get the chance to contact. hope they'll be able to bring grandma back tis time.
n to my parents in china whom i didnt get the chance to contact. hope they'll be able to bring grandma back tis time.