Murdoch
Biomedical Science
soxy_gal@hotmail.com; jac_soxy@yahoo.com.sg
20031987
Pisces
September 2004
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notice the green checkered shirt on lionel? like it man.. nice on him.. n he had on a new pair of jeans.. nice~! his new sneakers were nice too. overall he was quite well dressed. coz of some interview.aft tt lion n i met up wif rach fel n fred to go for hip hop class at O sch. first time learning the routine.. omg its soooo difficult! i had prob catching up. hip hop is seriously not my cup of tea. but its nice.. so i shall persevere. ahaha. had been long since i sweat so much. felt great.
met kenneth n fred at bugis in the aftnoon. walked like hell.. n i was in heels~!! we walked to somewhere near simlim to acc fred to some game shop, den walked to tis chicken rice shop at selegie, den walked to dhoby ghaut, den took train to city hall n walked to marina sq, den shopping arnd. my feet was hurting like crazy. hai.
aniway, bought a pair of jeans. skinny jeans... those tight kind.. make my legs longer.. haha. den we sat at macs n took a whole lotta pics.
tis are pics taken by kenneth.. all damn sparstic laaa~!
then these are taken by ur's truely... kenneth was trying to cover up.. idiot..
tts my skinny, "no-ass" tanning buddy
look at the no. of hermit crabs n some shell creatures.. there were so many~! 
a hermit crab trying to swim away, but i was holding its shell. haha. cruel rite?! =P
aniway, aft tanning, i rushed down to marina to meet dearest calista to watch dreamgirls. its damn gd!! go watch it ppl.. totally worth the money. the songs were great man.. wanna go get the album. so nice to see calista again.. so cute. haha.
aft the movie, rushed down by cab to sch for dancesport pract. been so long since i last went for class.. n i'm lagging bhind like crazy. learnt the dance steps but forgot most of it. basically juz stood aside watching the others, once in a while joining in. felt so freaking useless.
aft class, jinyi drived axel jane n i down to whampoa market to meet lionel n patrick for dinner. initially lionel asked me to go over to his new place to slack arnd n catch up wif each other. den i brought along jane axel n jy. so lionel thot we're meeting him onli for dinner. but i thot we were going over to his place~! but he had to go his fren's place.. so in the end nv see his new place. ARGH. was kinda disappointed laa... wanted to slack at his place one.. in the end onli eat den leave. darn.
tink i've lost my appetite. like really badly. onli managed to finish half the amnt of my dishes. every single meal. n i've been eating onli a proper meal a day. shit. oh... n tink i'm gonna have sun burn soon... my face's so freaking red... n tight.
dunno tmr aftnoon meeting who.. so confusing.. all not confirm somemore.. but there's ricky's dance perf at the esplanade~! yipppeeee.. =)
told jack tis yest on msn.. "i feel sad not having him, but lighter coz i dun hafta worry abt losing him." was juz merely typing n letting my mind do the job without realising.. HOW TRUE EH?! =)
I NEED A JOB~!
japan was great man... omg.. we walked n shopped n ate n shivered. went there wif 3 luggages... came back wif 3 luggages, 2 big bags, n 2 boxes!!! we had to ride in 2 taxis to get back home. total weight of all the bags was 77.3kg... 3 more kgs n we're overweight!!! wahaha.
the onli bad period in jap was wen my whole fam quarrelled. argh. my parents scolded me till i cried man. n i cldnt stop crying~! i juz kept tearing all the way back to our hotel room. felt better wen we got back.. but wen i went to slp, i went back crying again. tis time.. was abt him. cldnt slp at all man... walked arnd the room, watched tv, did crunches... a desp effort to stop crying.
so fed up man.... didnt cry for 2 whole wks aft we broke up... n my parents had to activate my tear ducts. in japan~! wen we were supposed to have fun n forget our troubles. hmph.
luckily there were so many activities the nxt few days. yes.. there were thots of him... but nah.. nutting to cry for.
will be back wif pics~!!! too lazy to upload them.. coz there's 2 cams... mine n my bros. SO MANY PICS~! =D
now... shld i go out n meet lionel?? abit lazy... hmm.. wahaha.
i miss the sun in sentosa. kenneth?! =)
2nd day now... waiting for my fam's booking for the hot stone. its sumthing like suana... but instead of heat, we'll be lying on a heated stone bed. cool eh? esp for sucha cold weather now.. a nice lil sweating will be great. =)
aniway, here's today's horoscope. its freaking true.
It may feel as if you are losing something important, but nothing is really being taken from you. Don't waste your energy struggling against the changes, for Pluto's process of elimination and evolution cannot be stopped. More importantly, you will be happier once you relinquish control, even if you are severely challenged in the process.
losing sumthing important? yes.. him.. i was feeling pretty emo today aft visiting a temple. miss him so much.. his hugs, touch, voice... everything. i've always tink y i love him so much? n sumhow.. i realised.. its not onli sumthing of him i really like.. n its everything. n tts y i cldnt tell him wad areas i love.. its juz.. nutting specific.. but everything in general. as simple as tt.. but difficult to explain. everything... his expressions, his intelligence, his hands, his lil tummy.. even his anger.
but its too late to say all tis now huh? i've lost him.. i dun tink i will ever have him back. n guess while i'm trying like crazy to cope tis lost, he's prob having fun wif tt other gal on the fone. lucky ger.. will she treasure him as much as i do? he's someone who is quite difficult to understand. aniway, wish him bez of luck in wadeva he does.
as for now.. i'll hafta hold back my tears n move towards wad i truely want. yeap. quoted.. "you will be happier once you relinquish control, even if you are severely challenged in the process."
wont let tis thing affect my hols here... LOVE JAPAN! i'll be back!!
i totally looovvee my cousins' dogs~! MICKEY!! cutey.. but old... already 10 yrs. oh, n my cousin's baby was absolutely cute too. some pics~!
me wif mickey. totally adorable.. CUTE!
my bro wif mickey on his lap. the human message chair for dogs.. ehehe. 
MICKEY~!!
relatives at my place. there's more ppl.. my hp cam cldnt fit them all in. yeap, n singing.. 
me in my room. the necklace nice? kenneth choosed it for me while shopping. was supposed to wear it to ADD but didnt suit my outfit. 
my cny outfit.. i like~ surprised tt i actually am wearing jeans instead of skirt? ahaha. i love tis pair of jeans. =)
tts abt it.. a small summary of the first day of cny. going out again later, so guess i wont be blogging till aft i'm back frm japan. JAPAN~! yippeee.. excited. flight's at 1am. so late man.. will be back wif pics pics n more pics~! yesh. i'm gonna take soo many pics n flood tis blog. wooo hooo~!
till den.. take care my lovelies. HAPPY CHI NEW YR~!
pictures say a thousand words.
there were quite alot of angmohs. the one facing me was hot. model i guess. *wheet!* 
happy tanners~!
in the toilet b4 washing up. zi lian. lolx
acc him to look for his new yr clothes at vivo aft sentosa. was exhuasted man.. frm the lack of slp n our tanning session. aft which i was sooo hungry, so we decided to sit down at coffee and toast. we searched n searched n searched the whole freaking floor but cldnt find the freaking shop~! argh. the amnt of time wasted on finding tt stupid store caused me a rather bad gastric.. n we kept laughing! gastric n laughter is not a gd combination. my stomach was hurting like mad. finally headed to harbourfront macs. ahh.. total bliss. food n water. ahaha.
i seriously hate squeezing wif the freaking crowd at chinatown during cny eve.. wonder y my parents do tt every yr! gets on my nerves. alright. i better get some slp.
visiting.. den OFF TO JAPAN~!!!! OOOH HOOOOO!!!! happy happy happy~ =)
went wif tw n jiayi for a midnight movie today. juz came home, at 4.45am... n i'm supposed to wake up at 7.30am to meet kenneth at harbourfront for suntanning at sentosa. soo.. guess i wont be slping~!
went for piano today onli to realised its close for cny!! so.. came home n waited for parents, went over to nicole's place to hand over chacha. she's helping me look aft him while i'm in jap. =)
nxt was some cny plant shopping.. utterly boring. den i was fetched to ps. tw jy n i were supposed to watch ghostrider at 12.20, but it was already selling fast. soooo.. we decided to head to marina sq to watch the 1.20 show.
went to starbucks to wait for them. read her world mag.. n there was tis article abt thinking abt ur ex relationships n wanting to get back to them.. it def changed my perspective abt my current situation! soo many things r happening arnd me tt really made me think a diff way.. n made me happier. thnk god~! =)
i even took a pic of part of the article~! 
so yeap, they came in tw's car.. n we're on our way to marina!! so glad to catch up wif jy. told her wad happened to me, n she told me wad happened to her. tw was soo bored. lolx.
aniway.. ghostrider.. quite ok? but.. not fabulous. tw fell aslp!! ahaha.. tink he was too tired. wen he woke up, i was like,"tired ah?" den he sigh n rested his head on my shoulder. urh.. i was really surprised. so.. i patted his head. i felt damn awkward can?! hmm..
highlight of the day!!! aft the movie!! yea.. can get home n slp.. $6 parking fee.. ok.. BUT! cashcard not enuff money! great! went to an entrance, door locked, went to a lift, lift locked! argh. went back to exit, pressed telecomm, was directed to red zone, found the cashcard top-up machine... YEA!! FREEDOM!! FINALLY! the carpark was like damn HUGE~!? it connected to marina sq, marina mandarin, pan pacific... so yea, imagine how big the carpark is?!
took a pic of him while driving. hehe.. he choked on his saliva n was coughing so badly he teared. first time saw him cry!! so TAKE PICTURE~!! he was trying to cover up.. hoho.. =P
ok i can feel fatique taking over. out!
aniway.. was out wif kenneth the wwhhoollee day. first was shopping at bugis.. den ps.. den arnd orchard. aft which was dinner at far east wif jack vir rf n lion. den more shopping~! was sooo tempted to get some stuff.. but i'm close to going bankrupt! so yep, controlled like crazy. all i did was follow the guys arnd while they shop for their new yr clothes.
vir n rf went to lion's place to collect vir's tv. left me n kenneth.. freddie joined us soon aft. we went to kallang theatre where kenneth's dance troupe is located. slacked awhile, den headed back to orchard. lion came back to meet us.. some shopping.. den dinner at pepperlunch!! AGAIN!!
more shopping.. slacking arnd.. den headed to starbucks to slack. stupid kenneth!!! he kept asking lion if he like anione.. den kept saying tt me n lion very pei.. kept trying to make him admit tt he like me.... i was like telling him i am 100% sure tt lion doesnt like me.. he still dun believe. so irritating. found out later tt he whispered to lion,"jas is single now.. you can go after her." O_O SO CRAP LOR~! INFURIATED...
den lionel juz diam diam.. make me even more agitated.. LIKE COME ON LEH! y isnt he defending himself?! act blur onli..
aniway.. some pics~!!
idiot.. nv lower himself.. make me tip top like mad.. 
some bored moments while kenneth's on the fone..
he emo~
i emo~ mainly irritated by kenneth's qnses n statements..
alright den! slp.. gonna reach sch at 10.30. argh so far~
aniway... met hid to get my laptop back. den headed down to lionel's place n stayed till 5. so happy to see nammie.. so fat man now.. so much cuter. some pics of him.. cldnt resist. =)
adorable?! i was eating.. n he kept watching... lolx. greedy dog.did some arrangement in my laptop n deleted those useless files so tt there will be more space in my drive for him to use. but aft tt we realised tt there's sumthing wrong wif photoshop.. so he had to go to mark's place to use his desktop in the end. argh.. wasted my effort to bring the laptop all the way there.
den helped him cut some cardboards for his model... boi was i glad i had sumthing to do.
aft tt came home to slp. so tired man.. had a really bad headache. so i slpt till 10.30pm, had dinner.. n now baking cookies! gonna give it to a few ppl. =)
meeting lh tmr at 8.30 for the jae thingy. argh. dread. hope i can wake up on time.
aniway, he sent me tis msg.. n it meant so much to me.
Pls dont be sad. Bein sad is nothing but lettin him hurt u. Don't let him hurt u. Not worth givin ur tears for jerks.. ok. Let a little time for ur self. Cry a while if u want to then sleep. Tomorrow will b a new day. Ok? Take care of ur self.
well.. feel like crying again. but somehow.. i dunno.. so sick of it. controlling like nobody's business today. jack left early coz his laptop kept crashing.. n he had to do his work. so its left wif lionel n me.. stayed till 5 b4 heading to orchard.
had pepperlunch.. haiz.. so anvious of jackie n her bf. owells. den we shopped arnd.. i bought a pair of heels n a set of underwear! =)
gonna go to sch tmr again to acc lionel. i juz neeta stay out of home.
hmmm.. didnt expect the break up to be so easy today. prob used to it already... coz i've been making myself forget abt him since 1 mnth ago. so i'm emotionally prepared.. am i? externally happy... but theres tis heavy rock in my heart. n its juz there no matter how i try to sigh it off. wadeva man.. gonna get it over wif n get on wif my life. not gonna let tis affect wad i wanna do in the future. yea man..
life can trample on me... make fun of me.. take me for granted.. make things shit for me.. but i'm not gonna let it dampen my mood in pursue for vet.. nope.. nutting can stop me. even if i cant get into the university.. or even if i cant cope on the level of difficulty n competition in the course... i'm gonna create my own future n make sure my life is filled wif animals. yeap... vet or not.. i'm gonna work wif animals. see the stronger side of me ppl... stubborn? selfish? aha~! its my life! except it or get lost. take it or lose it. WAHAHAHA.
hmmm... now wad shld i do?
aniway.. yest was ADD! or rather the day b4 yest. had fun man. jack kana saboed by us like crazy. was so cute! esp wen he had to strut on stage for the Mr Glam and Ms Glitz "pagent". IT WAS DAMN FARNIE! oh lionel was one of the nominees too.. the guys had to walk to the mike n say,"do i make you excited baby?" wen lionel said it, i was laughing sooo much.. n shouted back no! ahahaha. dun i love making fun of him. =P
aniway, JACK WON MR GLAM!! waaahh.. so cool man.. the shortest guy got it. tee hee~! but tink he's the most muscular there. ppl got 4 packs leh! n congrats to virly for winning the 1st lucky draw prize!! a 20 inch plasma tv.. OMG! O_O
aft ADD was clubbing at butter factory. hmm... the music was terrible at first. was trying my bez to self entertain. but it kinda failed n i got pretty bored. den tis bunch of ang mohs suddenly joined our circle n danced like crazy... n kept pulling the guys to the centre to dance. so i thot they were gays. but noo.. they had a 2nd motive. to get gals. sab n i escaped to meet her frens. b4 i left, i told lionel to go save the gals. coz they were kinda disturbed by the angmohs.
vir rf n kim left early. den the song got soo gd.. n i got pretty high. while dancing wif sab n her 2 frens.. tis angmoh suddenly pulled n shoved me agnst another angmoh. got a shocked... was like wth is going on? den tis was our conv...
him: i'm ur bday prez today
me: its not my bday
him: oh den i'm ur cny prez
me: sorry i dun need one
him: i'm totally free for u... u can do wadeva u wanna do wif me
me: no.. sorry..
so yep.. n he kept saying he's free.. he's mine.. n i kept saying no... den i escaped n joined back wif sab n her frens. den one of her fren told me tt he actually wanted to save me n say tt he's my bf but we dunno each other so he didnt dare. lolx.
den the 3 of them left for mos!! argh.. was soo tempted to go.. n her fren was like come along! but naahh.. ivonny had to come along if i were to go coz she was staying over at my place. i cant do tt to her rite? so yeaaa.. hehe.. i'm so nice eh? =P
den we had supper. n home... damn tired. exhuasted.
woke up arnd 2pm! slacked arnd den met jackie n marina sq. had hong kong cafe.. den ivonny left, while jackie n i shopped a lil. den off i was to east coast!! for dearest marcus's bday bbq. laughed like crazy!! nicole was so horny. siao already. haha. so yea... had bbq.. came home n farted a hell lot. hee..
aniway, rach got me hooked on tis song!! if it plays in a club.. i'll be so high!!
the beginning n ending's abit weird tho...
suntanning wif kenneth was GREAT! was soo successful man. now i'm soo tan.. n i tink burnt too.. haha. den we went shopping at orchard. n i felt so comfortable! i dunno man... shopping wif a guy is nv comfortable for me.. but i was quite surprised tt i didnt hafta worry abt boring him. coz he was actually helping me get the right accessorie. asked lionel to join us but he had to do his hd.. so hardworking..
came back frm mos tis morn arnd 4++. so tipsy maan~~ cld not walk strght. but it felt gd...
danced the WHOLE NIGHT! omg.. was quite high. danced till my lower stomach hurts like hell.
den for some reason my bikini got super tight.. till the extend of suffocation... had to ask nicole to loosen for me.. in the middle of the dance floor~! haha..
tmr's ADD~! yipppeee. cant wait man. =)
shopped arnd marina sq soon aft... bought the dorothy perkins silver clutch. den we bought alcohol n sat by the river at esplanade to drink. wanted to buy more drinks.. but was too lazy to. han was smoking.. saw nicole sharing a lil wif him.. was kinda tempted.. n asked them for it. was sooo scared tt i will choke at first.. so aft muuuch pursuation frm them i tried a lil.. den returned. was too afraid man.. han was like.. wth... den we chatted n i cried. again.
dunno la... i'm juz so depressed n upset now... n i really wanna try wad he said to me tt night.. tt it'll make ppl forget abt things.. he was so defensive abt it tt mayb i guess it really does help. n since no matter how hard i tried n controlled.. i juz cant seem to release myself frm all tis sadness.. mayb it'll help.
meeting kenneth in the morn to tan, den meeting ivonny to shop, den nicole to club. hope i'll enjoy.
my finger still smells of smoke.
left ish my lip gloss! find the colour too dark but i'm still loving it~! the right's ivonny's. hope she likes it.. but my colour's darker.
tis is me wif the lipgloss. shiny red lips. i like~! oh, n the heart shaped earring.. i lurv it~!
nxt! the very first spree item i recieved.. a earring container. =)
n i'm using it already~! almost full.. i'm pretty sure i've some missing ones.. n i'm planning to buy more. crazy abt earrings~!
aniway.. tian wen came to tok to me... he's like the bez person to tok to wen u have probs..
him says:
HELLO!
him says:
let go already?
me says:
huh?
me says:
let go wad?
him says:
still got wad?
him says:
still thinking of him?
me says:
ooh
me says:
thinking la of coz..
him says:
good
me says:
but not as painful animore
him says:
u noe y not painful?
me says:
y
him says:
ur mind have accepted the fact
him says:
tats y..
him says:
soon it'll be like an unused icon on ur desktop
him says:
clear away, delete into recycle bin
him says:
den when u're gettin older, u'll look into the bin n laugh @ urself
him says:
it'll become a memory
him says:
so u noe wad?
him says:
i going to slp liao..
him says:
bye
him says:
haha!
he pours everything out n make u face it.. n u noe its the truth... yea i'm quite sad n kinda refuse to know tt i'm getting used to the fact.. but i'm not sad to the extend of crying... =)
met jane to go to simei's pet shop... the dogs so cute~!! but kinda disappointing coz they made the shop smaller.. last time was HUGE.. haiz. sad. den met virly n rf to shop arnd city plaza.. didnt get anithing tho.. saw tis bag which i thot was nice.. so now i'm caught btwn a dorothy perkin silver clutch ($33) n the one i saw there ($15). owells.
back to cross stitching~!