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Tuesday, September 16, 2008

3 hrs into my lab report and i onli did 1/4 of it. how wonderful. so much for "tackling" it tonight. my neck is so stiff and i've been twisting my head so many times i swear it will break off. argh i miss khai's oh-so-good-i-fucking-need-it-now massage.

so i'm resting.. and letting my mind run wild. yes bf matters as usuaaalll... he's constantly on my mind, accept it. if u cant.. den mayb u shld stop reading my blog. *smiley face*

its been 6 mnths into our relationship, we're still in love and have not had any major fights b4, a lil upsets here and there, but nutting major and i'm grateful for that.

BUT!! yes theres always a but. its juz been bothering me how boring and unromantic he is. all we ever did was hang out in each other's room and very occasionally go out for dinner or to the clubs. hell the no. of fingers i have are more than the no. of times we've been out. and most of the times we're out wif frens. or rather, his frens. wad happened to cuddling up in parks? walks by the beach? or simply to the movies?

and i nv ever ever had a surprise frm him b4. not even suddenly appearing at my door step juz to see me thingamajig even tho we leave onli 5 mins walk away frm each other and he noes i'm at home. in fact i'm the who did that!

once he bought sumthing for me and told me to go over to his place to get it (text wif a smiley face). i was sooo happy and excited i literally skipped there!!! onli to realise he bought strepsils lozenges for my sore throat. O_O
ok yaaa.. i'm grateful that he bought it for me. and that he actually thot of me wen shopping. it was sweet of him.. yes... but.... man... anti-climax... totally...

and and!!! its so hard to make plans wif him!! he's been telling me how cool it is to fly to sg, we can go to tis place and tt place.. n bla bla... but its all words words and no action or confirmation. he told me he neeta see if he has enuff money to fly there, but in the mean time he's been spending his cash on unnecessary things like the paintball gun and a safe to keep his paintball gun. and they cost alooott. so now i'm like being hung in mid air. i cant confirm my return flight to sg, i cant tell my frens wen i'll be back.

was chatting wif bun and she told me tt aussie guys are like that. that they are mostly boring and unromantic. they dun "sweeten" the relationship. all her bf does is wrk, home, slp. waaadd!!? wont the "unsweetened" relationship turn "sour" then?

man tis is the first time i've initiated sooo much in a relationship. initiate in seeing him, initiate in holding his hand, initiate in kissing... and i hate initiating!!! its sooo nooottt meeee. i'm doing things wad a bf shld doooo...

but aft all that... for some funny reason, i still love him. its juz sumthing diff abt him compared to the other ang mohs. or how he looks at me or smiles like a shy silly kid wen we see each other in sch.

i'm still wary abt trusting him too much tho. he's aft all caucasian... ppl arnd him cheats so y wont he. yes i have trust issues.

ok better stop now or i'll go on forever.