Murdoch
Biomedical Science
soxy_gal@hotmail.com; jac_soxy@yahoo.com.sg
20031987
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Wednesday, January 24, 2007
oh gawd.. had been avoiding, rejecting, pushing the thots to the back of my mind.. n it all comes crashing back to me today.. now.. at tis pt of time..
PLS.. IF U'RE SICK OF ALL MY EMOTIONAL CRAP.. CLOSE TIS WINDOW
y am i forcing myself to do tis? to go true so much pain every single night wen i'm alone in my room letting the thots run wild cant i do wad my mind wants me to do? y do i have to make my emotions take control of how i tink?
day aft day, i show myself as the same ol gal i was care free.. not giving a fuck of wad is going on wif my life while night aft night, i face tis walls of my rooms shedding tears praying for a change in wads going on most importantly a change in myself to be stronger emotionally
n i juz cant as much as i torture myself scream into my pillow isolate myself frm my parents giving them tt attitude telling myself over n over again tt i cant be me... i need to change...
n wad am i saying to myself? how can i change "me"? wad the hell am i typing abt?!
its been 2 days since the anniversary i estimated... FUCK! an anniversary tt is estimated!! i barely see him, speak to him, not even msg him.. n the onli thing i can look forward to are anniversaries... n i dun even noe WHICH IS OUR ANNIVERSARY!!
valentines day is not a day i look forward to coz it ends on a weekday. hopes of being wif him on a special day, juz 1 special day... is gone.
guess now the onli thing i hope for is to even noe if he still loves me.
PLS.. IF U'RE SICK OF ALL MY EMOTIONAL CRAP.. CLOSE TIS WINDOW
y am i forcing myself to do tis? to go true so much pain every single night wen i'm alone in my room letting the thots run wild cant i do wad my mind wants me to do? y do i have to make my emotions take control of how i tink?
day aft day, i show myself as the same ol gal i was care free.. not giving a fuck of wad is going on wif my life while night aft night, i face tis walls of my rooms shedding tears praying for a change in wads going on most importantly a change in myself to be stronger emotionally
n i juz cant as much as i torture myself scream into my pillow isolate myself frm my parents giving them tt attitude telling myself over n over again tt i cant be me... i need to change...
n wad am i saying to myself? how can i change "me"? wad the hell am i typing abt?!
its been 2 days since the anniversary i estimated... FUCK! an anniversary tt is estimated!! i barely see him, speak to him, not even msg him.. n the onli thing i can look forward to are anniversaries... n i dun even noe WHICH IS OUR ANNIVERSARY!!
valentines day is not a day i look forward to coz it ends on a weekday. hopes of being wif him on a special day, juz 1 special day... is gone.
guess now the onli thing i hope for is to even noe if he still loves me.